Female vampires once ruled the world. Now they are overlooked for glittering guys with big hair. It's time to point out why the female of the species should be the center of attention.
The Gist: A couple on a road trip to a remote camp ground tell stories involving the locations history which revolves around vampire legends.
Female Vampire Factor: The first story is of a woman who is invited to her bosses house. The boss ends up being a vampire who just wanted to feed on her as her depression makes her blood taste better.
The second story is of a religious man who lost his daughter and whose wife is now deathly ill. He is approached by the mythical figure Lillith who has resurrected his daughter and now wants to turn his wife. After she convinces him to let her do it they then feed on him.
When they finally reach the camp ground while they're there a group of men who kidnapped a girl from a night club brought her there with the intent to abuse and rape her. It doesn't work out too well as the abuse just leads to her laughing and questioning the rapists manhood.
Eventually she reveals herself to be some sort of vampire demon and kills them before then finding the girlfriend of the couple wandering the woods after being raped and feeding on her as well.
UPDATE: Thanks to the folks in the comment section I have been made aware that there is a longer version of the film with an added scene. In this version of the film there is a scene prior to the opening credits with a group of cleaners sent to clean up a house. One of the cleaners (a female) goes out on her own and the walls in the room she's in starts bleeding with some of the blood getting in her mouth.
The blood turns her into a vampire and she goes around feeding on the rest of the cleaners in the house.
Just prior to the opening credits she looks to the head cleaner and aks her "Tell me what this place is?"
This scene is easily the best vampire scene in the film but does not change any of my below comments regarding the rest. In fact you can pretty much shut the film off after this scene and be much better off.
Final Opinion: The only decent story in this was the second one and that was only because of the payoff bite scene with the three women feeding on the religious guy, otherwise I wasn't really entertained. Especially since it's one of those films where it seems conflict is thrown in just for the sake of having it with no real connection to the plot. The relationship between the couple is supposed to be a soft point of the film where I assume you're supposed to get emotionally attached to them but literally nothing about it makes sense and makes you like them.
Basically she wants to hear romance stories so he spends the trip telling unromantic vampire stories. Then they stop for her to use the bathroom and he's hit on by some older woman which she witnesses. Then at the camp site instead of being romantic as she wants he tries to talk to her about bondage. After all of that he proposes and I guess we're supposed to root for them which then is supposed to set us up to be crushed when they're killed which goes over like a led balloon. I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5. The Lillith story has a good payoff but the rest is pretty forgettable. The ending seemed thrown together and was a major letdown. It definitely would have benefited from not having the rapists and the random demon in the film at all and would have been better off with the couple finding out the stories were true with the couple running into characters from those stories and having them become victims to them (or having the guy being in on sacrificing the girlfriend since they're his stories). That would have actually been a logical progression of the plot which would have tied the movie together.
The Gist: A vampiress in need of a therapist for herself and her fae friends bites and turns a psychiatrist who now along with his family have to adjust to his new condition.
Female Vampire Factor: The femme vamp in this film is "Vampire Goddess Victoria" (Sarah Palmer)
Outside of a hand full of scenes she is barely in the movie. She bites the doctor (in an animated scene) and has one scene were she explains the situation to the Dr
then has a final scene where she explains to the Dr.'s daughter what's wrong with him.
Final Opinion: So this was a pretty decent comedy. The bulk of the film consists of the newly turned vampire psychiatrist with the help of his very loyal wife and her dim witted Zach Galifianakis knockoff of a brother hiding his affliction from his daughter and their neighbors.
Unfortunately that gets harder and harder as his blood lust gets worse and the neighbors get more nosey.
Also throughout the film he gets unexpected visits from various monsters looking for therapy.
I give this a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. Victoria's part in the film might as well been a cameo. Other than that the film isn't that bad.
