Vampiress Review: Blood Fest

The Gist: A group of horror fans get more than they bargain for when the exhibits at the horror festival they attend end up being real with the guests being the intended victims. 

Female Vampire Factor: In a similar manor as the film Waxwork the films protagonists go from location to location in an enclosed area set aside for a horror festival and each location has a theme loosely based on a real world horror movie (with slight changes to avoid legal action I'm sure). 

In one of the area's the virgin of the group Krill (Jacob Batalon) ends up in a camp ground with a number of attractive women seducing campers. 

In what seems to be an homage to the werewolf scene in the film Trick R Treat the women eventually fang out revealing themselves to being vampires and kill the campers.

One in particular sets her sight on Krill but being that horror movie rules has the virgin always live she let's him go after witnessing how innocent he was.  He leaves being completely oblivious that everyone else there was killed during the conversation or that she was a vampire as he was just happy a hot girl was talking to him. 

Later in the film he looses his virginity to one of the other members of their surviving group.  As they are about to escape the vampire that let Krill go corners the group at the exit.  He (still oblivious to the situation) tells the rest of the group she's cool.   She explains that she feels drawn to him and how innocent he is.  He stupidly admits to her he's no longer a virgin and well.  You can figure out what happens from there. 

The last remaining survivors stake her through the heart and pin her to a truck avenging their fallen friend.

Final Opinion: This was a great comedy/horror flick.  Much more horror than comedy (the humor is scuttle and very dark IE early Nightmare on Elm Street).  The films story has a much deeper commentary on society as a whole and the lengths people with an agenda will go to in order to make a point once the final twist of why all of that is happening is revealed which made it all the better.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5.  -1 point for not being a full on vampire film but the parts that were was perfect.  

Vampiress Review: "10 Minutes to Midnight"

 

The Gist: On her last day before a forced retirement a late night radio DJ is bitten by an animal and struggles to maintain her humanity and sanity. 

Female Vampire Factor:  The main character of the film is Amy Marlowe (Caroline Williams)

She shows up for work with a bite mark on her neck that progressively gets worse. After an argument with the young girl who is to replace her she bites the girl in the hand and from there pretty much loses it the rest of the film.  Not being able to understand what's real and what's a hallucination. 

Throughout the movie one of the main subjects of her hallucinations is Sienna (Nicole Kang), the girl pegged to replace her at the radio station. 

Even though she is the one who bit Sienna.  Amy sees her throughout the film as the monster. Including seeing her fang out and feeding on the station manager and her producer. 

Eventually Amy confronts Sienna and drives a wooden stake through her heart taking her out.

By the latter part of the film without Sienna to project as the monster Amy herself begins to show fangs and she eventually feeds on her producer. 

Final Opinion: It's a decent horror movie but moves way too slow for my taste.   Similar to the films Vampire's Kiss and Lilliths Awakening the main driving force of the film is the idea of manipulating the audience into trying to figure out what during the film is actually happening and what is all in her head with the movie never actually clearing up what was what.  The last scene shows the day manager showing up to the studio the next day and finding all the bodies and being attacked by a bat so you never find out whether there actually were vampires or whether she just went psychotic and imagined the whole thing while killing everyone she worked with.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  Most fangs scenes are very dark and the last act of the film just kind of throws everything that happened before it away but otherwise pretty decent. 

Vampiress Review: "Black as Night"

The Gist: A teenage girl in New Orleans finds herself at war with a vampire leader who plans on turning the cities destitute population into a vampire army after they turn her mother. 

Female Vampire Factor:  Not much to speak of.  Only one that gets any screen time is in the scene where the films protagonist Shawna visits her mother after being attacked herself and her mother turns and attacks her. 

Final Opinion:  Obviously with the above statement I can't give it a Vampire Beauty Rating above 1 out of 5.  With that being said for overall enjoyment this is a great film that I can't say enough great things about.  Genuinely decent vampire horror movies where vampires are a thing to be feared and not the stereotypical "people who live normal but just happened to have a taste for blood who are potential love interests" are hard to find.  

While the head vamps do still follow the "vampires are divided into mob like factions" thing films like to do the film is not told from the vampires point of view but from the victims so it doesn't matter. Vamps in this film are a threat to be feared and if they're on screen (with one exception) they're trying to kill someone so if you're looking for a straight forward horror film I can definitely recommend this. 

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Vampiress Review: "The Hunger"

The Gist:  A doctor who researches genetic disorders that rapidly ages people ends up the victim of the disorder herself when a one night stand with a vampire leads to illness and rapid aging. 

Female Vampire Factor: The main vampire in the film is Miriam (Catherine Deneuve). 

She is a lonely romantic with the gift of eternal life while also being cursed with the reality that anyone she tries to turn will rapidly age but not die leaving them as an immobile aging husk.  By mid movie you find out that she has a collection of old lovers that she keeps once they've aged beyond the ability to function. 

Her love interest in the film is Dr Sarah Roberts (Susan Sarandon)

Dr. Roberts is a scientific researcher studying genetic disorders that cause rapid aging in children with the hope of extending their lives.  Miriams lover at the time John (David Bowie) who is rapidly aging himself thanks to being turned by her seeks Sarah out with the hope that she can help him. She ends up blowing him off but regrets it when he ages rapidly in just the time he's left in her waiting room. 

She seeks John out after their encounter but is met with Miriam instead as Miriam by that point had already stored John away after his rapid aging.  Miriam takes a liking to Sarah and sleeps with her ending with Sarah being turned and getting very ill. 

 Final Opinion: While I know this film is considered a classic it is one of those artsy type films that moves very slow and replaces plot development with imagery and pretty camera angles while nothing really happens.  The vampires in this film stab people with a sharp object hidden in a necklace to get their blood which is also a downgrade for me.   During it's day my opinion would be very different since this is a very ambitious film for 1983 considering it has nudity and lesbian undertones but otherwise not really that impressed and can't really recommend it.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5. 

Vampiress Review: "Night Teeth"

 

The Gist: A young man filling in for his brother as a limo driver is unknowingly placed in the middle of a murder plot consisting of female vampire assassins on a murder spree. 

Female Vampire Factor: The passengers that limo driver Benny is assigned to pick up are two party girls by the name of Blare and Zoe.

Zoe is the brains of the operation.  She's the girlfriend of the vampire boss Victor who is using the two girls to take out his competition.  She's very short tempered and has no issue with killing anyone who crosses her. 

Blare on the other hand comes off more a victim of circumstance.  She goes along with everything Zoe does because Zoe is who created her but is still in tune with her human emotions and bonds with Benny throughout the film to the point that it seems she's into him and how innocent he is and doesn't want to see him harmed in spite of Zoe and Victors plans for him. 

The only other two female vampires in the film come in the form of one of the vampire leaders Grace and her #2

Grace in this case is played by the it girl of the 2010's Meghan Fox.  She doesn't do anything vampiric but you do get to see her in a very sexy outfit and with fangs during her one scene. 

Final Opinion:  Netflix thankfully does seemingly include one original vampire film in it's Halloween lineup and this one was a very pleasant surprise.  While I've never really been a fan of non horror vampire films, especially ones with the "vampires are just supernatural mobsters" premise as I prefer vampires to be something to fear, this one wasn't too bad.  The underlying story that the elite in the city of Los Angeles are really vampires who own the government and the street gangs are actually vampire hunters was a decent twist though not really explored enough to be important to the plot.  From a femme vamp standpoint you get a much better use of Lucy Fry as a vampire than she was used in the box office bomb "Vampire Academy". That as well as vampire Meghan Fox (though nowhere near the non vampiric performance in Jennifers Body) gives this a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.    

Vampiress Review: "Vampire Strippers"

 

The Gist: A group of female vampires seek revenge on the man who turned them. 

Female Vampire Factor:  All the women in the film are eventually turned into vampires.  As the story goes a vampire lures them all in with the promise of making their dreams come true, gives them tainted wine and then they wake up in his basement chained up and in lingerie. 

They eventually break out and go about making money and getting their sustenance via running a strip club. There really isn't much plot outside of the first half hour or so.  From there you just get random stripper scenes

Followed by about 10 minutes of random scenes of them partying and biting men

Followed by a very thrown together ending of the girls getting vampire killing tools and just showing up and killing the vampire Julion that takes all of 2 minutes. 

Final Opinion:  This is a VERY raw film. Poor lighting, poor sound and no real plot to the point that it's just an hour and twenty minutes of stuff just happening with some interruptions of people telling you what the plot is supposed to be.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  Basically it's a combination of the films Blood Angels and Vampz but either one of those films would be a better watch for the female vampire stripper or female vampire revenge plots. 

Vampiress Review: "Super Hot"

 

The Gist: A pizza delivery driver seeks the help of her friends to rescue her childhood best friend/crush when she moves in with a sorority of vampires.  

Female Vampire Factor: As mentioned the sorority in the film is a group of female vampires. 

Thing is only two of them actually fang out in the film and they're in quick flashes in one scene so not much actual vampirism happens.

Final Opinion:  This is one of those films that has so much potential but falls short due to a lot of attempted forced comedy that comes off annoying more than funny. 

A good majority of the movie is really annoying conversations between two people acting neurotic in cars.  Take away all of those scenes and the rest of the movie is actually pretty watchable. 

I mean the concept of a lesbian girl trying to save her high school crush from sorority vampires who she believes is trying to kill her works in every way if they knew how to concentrate on that story and not how socially awkward the protagonists of the film are around each other.

If the bulk of the film concentrated more on Jackie (the lesbian protagonist) and her relationship with Carmen (her crush) and how Carmen's personality was changing thanks to the new group she's hanging out with instead of Jackie driving around picking up people and talking about it, this could be an A+ film.  

As is I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Netflix's "The Babysitter" franchise is what I feel the modern standard is for this type of film (girl protagonist has a crush on ends up being a monster) and this falls short of meeting that standard but it's definitely a respectable try. It does announce a future sequel so we'll see what happens from there. 

Vampiress Review: "Witchcraft 7: Judgement Hour"

The Gist: A couple of cops are put on a case when a young girl dies of mysterious circumstances at a party that ends up being the work of a vampire. 

Female Vampire Factor:  The film starts with a vampire biting a girl name Rachel (Ashley Rhey) after sex.  

Her friend finds her and calls an ambulance where she's rushed to the hospital and is eventually pronounced dead.  She doesn't stay that way as while the main detectives are looking her over she wakes up, manhandles both and runs off. 

She ends up running down a street in her hospital gown and passes a guy.  They end up having sex in the bushes which is where she fangs out and bites him. 

The detectives happen to drive past seeing this and went after her.  Once again she makes short work of them until Will Spanner (the main character of the series up to this point) puts a tree branch in her heart killing her. 

The next female vampire we see is Will's wife Kelly.  Throughout the film she's pretty moody, nagging Will one second and screwing him the next. 

One night while Will is on the phone with one of the detectives the vampire flies into his room and bites Kelly.

Will eventually gets back in bed with her which is when the vampire takes control of her telepathically.  She then flips out, scratching his chest and licking the blood off of him.

When he sees she's fanging out he punches her out then ties her up. 

The movie ends with the vampire after being staked by Will going back to Kelly and asking her to take the stake out.  She instead pushes it further in killing him.

Final Opinion: Despite this film being labeled "The Final Chapter" it absolutely wasn't and also wasn't the last of the Witchcraft series that dealt with vampires.  This one is pretty cheesy with especially cheap looking effects well beyond the rubber fangs.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5 as at least the sex scenes are decent.  Witchcraft X was a much better vampire film in the series which I reviewed HERE.