Vampiress Review: "Blood of the Virgins"

The Gist: A group of teens spend the night in an old lodge not realizing that it is haunted by vampires. 

Female Vampire Factor: The film begins telling us a story of a woman named Ofelia, sometime in the 19th century.  She is engaged to a guy named Eduardo but secretly seeing a guy named Gustavo.  Gustavo doesn't take too highly to Ofelia's relationship with Eduardo and on their wedding day proceeds to murder him, them reveals he's a vampires and kidnaps Ofelia and turns her. 

Fast forward to the 1960's a bunch of teenagers go and stay at a lodge.  As time goes a girl goes missing.  At the same time one of the guys gets a visit.  It's Ofelia.  Even though she's a vampire she doesn't want to do him any harm and in fact has a thing for him. 

It's without being said that Gustavo is the one going after the girl. A bunch of R- rated sex scenes later Ofelia decides she is tired of living as a vampire.  

 She goes to Gustavo's casket and stabs him in the heart with a knife before turning it on herself. 

 

Final Opinion: I'll get it out the way that this is definitely a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5 since Susana Beltran as Ofelia is smoking hot.  The movie itself is average at best but it very much stands out as a Jean Rollins style vampire T&A flick when the vampire stuff finally starts happening which is very much appreciated. All the vamp stuff is done by Gustavo though.  Ofelia's main purpose is to show cleavage and breasts.

Vampiress Review: "Blood Immortal"

 

The Gist: Three stories of female vampires trying to survive over generations.

Female Vampire Factor: The film is divided into three chapters.  

In Chapter 1: "The Founding (Origins)" we get the story of a woman and her daughter (Josephine and Fiona).  They are alone as Josephines husband died in war.  She herself is also deathly ill. 

One day a mysterious man comes by claiming to be from the government with an offer to buy their land.

 In reality he's a vampire who wants to take Josephine for his bride.  He eventually bites her and turns her. 

When she realizes what's become of her she and Fiona attack and eventually kill the stranger.  The Chapter ends with Fiona offering to feed Josephine her blood. 

In Chapter 2: "Isolation, Caution"

Now in modern times Fiona now a vampire herself is struggling to survive as the blood population is tainted.  With every female (as she's apparently a lesbian) she bites she gets sicker and sicker. 

 During this time she's also attending night classes that focus on economics.  Her professor is a lonely woman and they hit it off immediately striking up a friendship.

The Chapter ends with the depressed professor seeking Fiona out for comfort after being embarrassed attempting to ask a colleague out for a date. Fiona sick with blood lust seduces then feeds on her. 

In the third and final Chapter

Now in the future, civilization is in ruin and two vampires, Josephine and her daughter Eliza, are struggling to survive.  Eliza is deathly ill due to the poisoned blood supply of the humans. 

Josephine decides to bribe the worker at a blood bank with ancient coins in exchange for fresh blood to feed her daughter.  

The blood bank worker trades those coins to a group of shady people who decide they are going to find the source and rob them.  

The Chapter ends with the daughter Eliza dying from blood poisoning and the mother Jospehine murdering the attempted thieves.

 
Final Opinion: My only real complaint is just the fact that I'm not sure if these are continuous stories or not.  The girl in chapter 2 has the same name as the daughter in chapter 1 and the mother in chapters 1 and 3 are played by the same actress with the same name as well but different daughters.  Other than that not half bad.  Chapter 2 is definitely the highlight of the film.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5.  Only thing keeping it from a straight 5 is Chapter 3 being more of a post apocalyptic survival film than a vampire horror.

Vampiress Review: "Vampie: The Silliest Vampire Movie Ever Made"

 The Gist: A vampiress and a vampire hunting priest must stop an evil vamp from using a magic ambulate to create an army of zombies. 

Female Vampire Factor: The main vampire protagonist of the film is Azure St Claire who is played by the films producer/writer Ming Ballard.

While absolutely beautiful and spends most of the film in what could be described as vampire fetish wear

the problem is she's an anti-vampire so she isn't really very vampiric.  She explains that she's allergic to blood and uses the magic "vampie" to help her feed without directly drinking blood. She does have one scene where she actually does bite someone and the reaction was more disgust so it just seems like it's more of a taste preference than an actual allergy.  

 The second vamp of the film is the henchwoman of the villain vampire Mannon, Ludmilla (Sophie Mazzaro)

 The Maxim cover girl contest winner is super hot.  Unfortunately she gets barely any screen time and is kind of an after thought.

The final vamp of the group is the true reason to watch the film if you're going to watch it which is the character Grace (Maya Merker)
 

Grace starts the film as Azures friend and co-worker at her bakery.  It becomes very clear that she wishes that she could be a vampire as she constantly asks Azure about what it's like.

Eventually it's revealed that she's made a deal with the evil vampire Mannon.  In exchange for helping him steal the Vampie they will turn her into a vampire which they do. 

 

this of course leads to a showdown between her and Azure as the films main payoff. 

 

Final Opinion: False advertising at it's finest, the one bothersome thing about this film is it would be rather good if it completely took itself seriously.  Specifically the films beginning is pretty hard to watch with the awkward soundtrack and just awkward everything else.  Once we get into the actual story it's decent.  Basically the film really gets going once Grace is turned who is the real selling point of the film.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5.  If the movie itself was better it could get a 5 but just the fact that it's full of attractive vampire women in fetish wear makes it watchable and pretty enjoyable with the fast forward button handy. 

 

Vampiress Review: "Vampires vs The Bronx"

The Gist: It's up to a group of young kids to save the Bronx when they are the only ones to realize that the new real estate developers in town are really a cover for a brood of vampires looking to take over the neighborhood.  

Female Vampire Factor:  Our one and only femme vamp is Vivian (Sarah Gadon)

Vivian spends the first part of the film as an unassuming sweet innocent overly friendly white suburban stereotype who is repeatedly shown as a fish out of water in the urban lower class burrow she's moved into, often being met with paranoia from those who encounter her that she's just there to call the police on everyone. 

 

All the while the vampire related happenings are pointing at a blond man as the main vampire who the kids of the neighborhood identify and try to convince everyone exists.  Obviously no one believes them.

 

It isn't until about one hour in that its finally revealed that the main real estate agent is just a familiar for the vampires and the blonde vampire we thought was the main vampire was just a henchman.  Everything is cleared up when the boys steal a key from the vampires layer.  Vivian then goes around the neighborhood looking for them and after realizing that the owner of the local convenience store has figured her out (he see's that she doesn't show in the stores security camera) she fangs out and drains him. 

 The boys along with one of the local girls who's the only one who believes them eventually end up at the convenience store and realize the vampires got to the owner.  When the local gang bangers and the vampires go after them they escape but run into Vivian on the way.  Not knowing she's one of them they take her back home with them to safety.

When they get back to one of the boys apartments they start to realize Vivian is acting weird.  She's making small talk with his mom in an obvious effort to be invited in. As if she can't come in unless specificity invited.  

When their holy water starts to bubble they realize she's a vampire and out her to the kids mom.  Vivian then fangs outs and admits that she isn't just any vampire, she is the commanding vampire for an expedition to take over the Bronx. She demands her key but gets doused with holy water instead. 

From this point on till she is finally staked during the final fight scene between Vivians vampires and the residents of the Bronx, sweet Vivian is long gone and she spends the rest of the movie pretty much dressed like Selene from Underworld while fanging out and killing or attempting to kill anyone on screen with her that isn't another vampire.

 

 

Final Opinion: This is Netflix's newest original film and I have to say I have no complaints here and give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  A movie where the main antagonist is an attractive female vampire who spends the last half of the film fanging out and biting people pretty consistently is as good as a PG horror comedy is going to get.  Not to mention the swerve of an unassuming background character for the majority of the film all of a sudden being not only the main baddy but a primarily vicious one at that was very well done.  Netflix does a very good job of giving some sex appeal to its horror comedy villains even when the main protagonists are children much like in their "Babysitter" franchise.  This definitely has high re-watchability. 

Vampiress Cosplay: Mina Tepes

Mina is the main character of the anime/manga "Dance of the Vampire Bund".  In the series she is the queen of vampires but she's referred to as a princess as she has a child like appearance. 

 

 

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