Monday, May 28, 2018

Vampiress Review: "You Only Die Once"


The Gist: A woman and her friends are out to kill her ex who happens to be a vampire.

Clarification: This is a very entertaining short horror/comedy.   It's very cheesy with the general idea being to make fun of older millennials as everyone in the film spouts out pop culture and social media references non stop even though they are supposed to be either very angry or in danger. 

Selling Point:  It's genuinely funny. 

Female Vampire Factor:  In spite of the fact that the main vampire pretty much wants to make everyone his vampire bride he fails miserably at it and falls for some very lame tricks.  Fortunately he does already have two very catty vampire brides.
The one on the right comes off as very ditsy and gets picked on by the one on the left who also is the only one in the film who feeds.
I absolutely enjoyed this and give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5.  Very enjoyable.
You Only Die Once - Vampire Horror Comedy Short (2016) from Amanda B. Goodman on Vimeo.

Vampiress Review: "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter"

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/

The Gist: Jesus is resurrected to save lesbians from vampires.

Clarification: If Troma puts it's seal of approval on it, you know it's going to be good.  Hold on,  this wasn't a Troma film?  Like someone purposely decided to make a film that could be mistaken as a Troma vampire film even though Troma vampire films are awful?  Well whatever works. 

The biggest mind blowing fact about this film is that it states on wikipedia that the budget here was $100,000.  Obviously none of it went toward the actual production value of the film so I'm guessing this is just actor salary and location permits maybe?  Anyway vampires are attacking and turning lesbians, Jesus Christ is sent to save them with his vampire hunting and martial arts skills, he gets help from various religious themed side characters and an overweight interpretation of Lucha Libre action hero El Santo.
Oh and did I mention that this film has musical numbers in it too?

Selling Point: At least Maria Moulton is decent eye candy as Jesus's fighting partner Mary Magnom

Female Vampire Factor:  Well considering the lesbian vampire theme there are quite a few of them.  Only one gets any real screen time.
Otherwise the rest are just eventual stake fodder for the fight scenes.

Basically this is if the movie John Carpenters Vampires was a rock opera like Jesus Christ Superstar.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Not something I can recommend as a must see but it does apparently have a cult following so some people are into it.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Vampiress Review: "Blood Taste"

Blood taste is a short film about a woman who stalks a man at a park who has a nose bleed.  Next thing we see is he is tied up at her home and it is revealed that the woman is a vampire.
Even though she has a glass of blood right in front of him she obviously prefers it right out of the vain because she gets up and goes right for his neck.
BLOOD TASTE | Short Film from Jad Roux on Vimeo.

Vampiress Review: "How to Survive as a Vampire"


This is a short "how to" video showing the rules of how not to die if you're turned into a vampire. The film stars Jazi Jey as the example vampire.
In it she shows all the different do's and don't scenario's through acting them out. This film is in the format of a silent black & white film from the days before "talkies".
How to Survive as a Vampire from Derian Wall on Vimeo.

Vampiress Review: "Vampire Warriors"

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1833127/

The Gist:  A vampire slayer must save her vampire best friend and her family from a vampire who feeds on other vampires.

Clarifications:  So the main character of the film is a girl named Ar.  Ar is a vampire slayer but she only kills vampires that harm humans which explains her close "friendship" with a vampiress named Max (quotes because the alternate title to this film is "Lesbian Vampire Warriors").  Max and her family are vegetarian vampires which in this case means they only feed on animal blood so they are no danger to humans (though they do wonder what it's like occasionally including a scene where they get hungry over smelling a womans period). 
One day a vampire comes to town named Mung who only feeds on other vampires.  This is fine and dandy until Mung sets his sites on Max and her family and Ar will and does do anything to protect Max. This film fits into the martial arts/horror comedy genre.

Selling Point: Pretty much every female in the film is a vampire.

Female Vampire Factor: The main female vamp in the film is Max (Chrissie Chau)
Due to her being a vegetarian vampire her and her family vamp out the least if at all.  Basically it only happens when she's angry toward the films end.

So (Pinky Cheung)
Ar's sister who was a vampire hunter until Mung turned her and has held her captive.

Spoiler Alert

Ar (Luxia Jang)
In order to defeat Mung, Ar convinces Max to turn her in order to make it an even fight.

On top of those there are several nameless vamps, mostly of the evil kind that make appearances in order to be either Stake Fodder for Ar or a meal for Mung.
I don't have too many complaints about this film so it gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  It's a martial arts film first and a horror last (if you can even call it that) but it works.

Vampiress Model: Dixie Comet

Dixie is a fetish model who performs over at her site Dixielandfetish.com.  Below are links to some vampire related videos she's done as well as a pic from her official instagram. Definitly bookmark the banner below for her site as she does vamp updates frequently,















https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/45475/19655355/A+Vampire%27s+Sacrament+%28mp4+960x540%29
https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/45475/19429659/Vampire+Lessons+%28mp4+960x540%29
https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/45475/19190867/Spawn+Of+The+Vampire+%28mp4+960x540%29
https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/45475/dixieland-fetish/Cat0-AllCategories/Page1/ClipDate-desc/Limit0/search/VAMPIRE

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Vampiress Model: Ashe Maree

https://piratecams.com/manyvids-ashe_maree-faps-fangs-premium-video-hd/
Below Manyvids cam model Ashe Maree does a special cam show as a vampire.  Also some shots from her official instagram with fangs.














https://www.manyvids.com/Video/528131/Faps-amp-Fangs/




Vampiress Review: "Vampire, Zombie, Werewolf"

http://vampirezombiewerewolf.com/

The Gist: A web producer is invited over to a strange couples house to discuss making a web series just to find out they're both some kind of hybrid of a vampire, zombie and werewolf.

Clarification: Pretty corny comedy web series where the premise revolves around a monster hybrid couple trying to impress other vampires at a dinner party while the human web producer they brought in to help is scared out of his mind when he finds out what they are.

Selling Point:  If you like women with cloaks the last three episodes are full of them.

Female Vampire Factor:  First we have our main couple Tad and his wife Bunny (Tanya Inhen).  The story revolves more around them holding their werewolf side in so don't expect too much vampire stuff out of them though it is established early that Bunny has no self control over her hunger so there is a lot of her trying to avoid eating the human web producer.
There's nothing much to do with vampires in the series until the vampire dinner party starts in episode 7.  There we are introduced to many nameless vampires (actually they do have names in the credits but never actually used in the show).  Based on what I could figure out we have....

Joellette (Joelle Posey)
Hot blonde in sexy dress who spends the bulk of her screen time making out with her vampire boyfriend and only flashes her fangs in episode 9.

Coriolanus (Corie Meyers)
Bitchy brunette who is almost always snarling when on screen as she doesn't seem to like Bunny and Tad very much and obviously wants to eat the human web producer. 

Laurenthia (Lauren Bopp)
 Only shown on screen when they need to show a vampire hissing. 

Andphelice (Andrea Westby Toaso) & Lauralia (Laura Newfield)
They are very snobby and end up becoming victims of Bunny not being able to control her hunger but this isn't shown on screen. Basically they disappear after episode 7. 
It's a very corny comedy series as mentioned above which hinted at a season 2 but obviously nothing came of it.  If you're in it for the vampires just watch episodes 7 and 9. 

The Female Vampires of "Alex Fernandez's Dawn"

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5038772/

Dawn is a web series about a vampire named Ava Santiago who is recruited by God to destroy other vampires giving her the name of "Dawn".  Basically she's if Blade was an attractive latin women but with magical powers. The story and premise itself is very good and if you're into women with fangs the vampires fangs in this series aren't retractable so they're always out (except episode 7 which is the one episode where Dawn/Ava tries to "blend in with humans" which comes off as a vacation video).

My only complaints of the series are knit picky production issues like the background music drowning out the dialogue at times and the biggest issue being the bulk of the episodes being credits and establishing shots.  It's a small production and the episodes are short but for whatever reason you have no less than three different credit sequences that are drawn out because they are full of animation.  Basically if an episode is 10 minutes 5 to 6 of it are establishing shots of New York city or one of the three credit sequences.  They do get better with this in the later episodes but those first few you will need to use the fast forward button a few times just to get to the actual show.


Dawn/Ava Santiago (Victoria Amber)
A witch in South America long before written history in the Americas she was turned into a vampire where she spent centuries feeding on humans.  Eventually she's given a choice to redeem herself and is given vampire hunting abilities.  If she succeeds she gets her soul back. As a vampire hunter she's given the name "Dawn".  The bulk of the series is her fighting vampires she created.

Kassandra (Anna Morck)
 One of the Queens two minions sent to hunt Dawn. She appears sporadically throughout season 1.

Queen Amina (Ufuoma George)
It's somewhat established in the series first episode that Ava is responsible for her being a vampire which is a source of bad blood between the two. The Queen storyline kind of fades away after a few episodes with no real resolution.  Her character gets replaced by a male vampire (or werewolf) named Cain as the main antagonist in the later half of the season.  

Adrianna (Daasia Abreu)
Introduced in Episode 7 of the series first season she is a former friend of Ava who she turned.  The two encounter each other when Adrianna tries to convince Ava to return to the vampire fold one last time before seeking revenge for leaving.

Angelika (Emily Kay)
In Episode 9 Angelika is another of Eva's former victims who seeks revenge on her.  They have brief confrontations both in that episode and the season finale.

Princess Kali (Ashley Maharaj)
Probably the only vampire in the series that doesn't seek revenge on Eva for past doings she's introduced in the final episode of season 1 rescuing Eva when she's outnumbered.

Xiu Mei (Wei Wei)
Introduced in episode 10 of season 1 no real background is given to her other than the same "we were friends once and now you've turned on the vampires so I must kill you" shtick that every other vampire introduced in this series has.  The teaser for season 2 does feature her prominently so when it does happen I expect we'll learn more about her background. 

As of this writing it's been about a year since season 1 ended and the official Youtube page did put out a teaser for season 2...
 as well as some of the actresses from the new season putting out various social media posts showing promotional photos for the season..
Still no word on when this new season will launch.  Until then this is a definitely a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5 series that I highly recommend.  Probably the second best urban vampire related film/series I've seen behind the film "Teeth & Blood".