Vampiress Review: "Daylight Fades"

The Gist: A couple deal with there struggles as one has commitment issues and the other is a vampire.

Clarification: So this is a vampire romantic drama.  A shy guy and a girl with commitment issues meet up at a bar.  After some time the guy tells the girl he loves her. She freaks out then randomly sleeps with some guy and tells him about it.  He takes off distraught and gets into a car accident.  As they all wait for him to die the girls estranged father (who is a vampire) comes along and kidnaps the guy and turns him into a vampire because he believes his daughter does love him but is so screwed up in the head thanks to a troubled childhood that she doesn't know how to show it.  The remainder of the film is basically the guy and the girl breaking up and getting back together repeatedly

The film starts out very strong.  The love story is very interesting and the vampire portions while seemingly out of place make the film that much better.  If I have any complaint with the film it's that it goes on too long after what would have been a strong ending (if it would have been the ending) instead resulting in the actual ending falling flat. Think in terms of a movie like Rudy instead of ending with Rudy getting carried off after the big game ending with him eating his Wheaties the next day while doing his homework.

Selling Point:  Outside of the drawn out ending it's a very intriguing film.

Female Vampire Factor: In the film there is only one.  The girls (Elizabeth) father was turned by an evil female vampire by the name of Raven (Rachel Kimsey).

 During one of Elizabeth and her boyfriend Johnny's breakups she swoops in and attempts to take Johnny for herself.  She unlike the other vampire in the film feeds on human blood and kills (the other lives off of animals) and attempts to get Johnny to join her in that.  He unfortunately for her has morals so the idea of seducing people sexually and then murdering them is something he's totally against.

So for a brief period you do get a break from petty arguing to get some very nice female vampire T & A.  It doesn't carry the film by any means but the film holds it's own anyway.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of  4 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "The Bloody Indulgent"

The Gist: When a vampire kills a strip club owner,  The strippers of the club seek revenge on him.

Clarification: There is none.  It's a vampire musical straight from the imagination of the worst acid trip imaginable.  It's a comedy but it's not "ha ha" funny but more "what the hell am I watching and why haven't I shut it off yet" funny.  No logic, makes no sense but really hard to turn away from because you kind of want to know where it's going to go or worst case scenario how bad it's going to get.

Selling Point:  I can't give this movie justice on how weird it is.  It's one of those, "good or bad you have to see it just for the sake of saying you did" films.   It brings up questions like "How much drugs were taken in order to write this" and "How much money did Kevin Scott Richardson of the Backstreet Boys need to agree to be in it.

Female Vampire Factor:  There is only one of note (IE acts vampiric in any way) and that's the character Connie played by Diva Zappa.

She gets pissy when Burt (Richardson) turns her boyfriend into a vampire and when she attempts to start an anti vampire riot at the strip club her boyfriend turns her to shut her up.   Upon waking up she pretty much tries to eat everyone she sees (the Vampire Diaries "every female vampire fledgling is an uncontrollable monster upon turning" cliche) and Burt stakes her when she won't stop.

Her portion of the film doesn't end there as she's eventually brought back as a zombie and pretty much walks doing the robot from that point on (told you this film was weird).

Burt does turn other women in the film but they're just background fodder.

 Anyway Vampire Beauty Rating is a 2 out of 5.  Film enjoyment level on the other hand depends on your frame of mind (or lack their of) while watching it.  I mean there's a song about being somewhere at 7:30 and another about how two characters would be having sex if they weren't in a bathroom sitting next to a toilet (part 2 of the song basically says "screw it" and they do it anyway toilet or not).....seriously this is South Park level absurdity. 

 

Vampiress Review: A Nocturne: Night of the Vampire

The Gist: Vampires attack people

Clarification:  None needed.  This is just an hour of vampires attacking people.  No real plot to be found really.  Basically it's like a fang fetish vampire porn but without the porn and very little fangs. If you go on Troma's site it talks about there being some sort of love story involved but the dialogue is so awkward that the film pretty much needs translating even though the whole thing is in English.  It doesn't help that on top of that in some scenes the music is MUCH louder than the dialogue so you can't really hear it.

Selling Point:  If you're a Troma film completionist (which also makes you a glutton for punishment) then you need this to complete your collection.

Female Vampire Factor:  There's two in the film at least that do anything vampiric in the classic form.  There's the hot Asian one (Vee) played by Haiha Le

 

Then there's one half of the main couple "X" Vanessa de Largie

Further along in the film there is a women who is possible a vampire but not quite sure named "Rola" (Jennifer Levy).

I've seen some positive reviews for this film but a lot of those positive reviews are based on some deep down subconscious "This film is a representation of this and that and is symbolism for yadda yadda" type stuff with the reviewer generally comparing it to a better yet just as hard to follow independent film (A popular comparison being "The Addiction").  I am not one of those people.  The film is just weird.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. 

Vampiress Model: Goddess Celine

Goddess Celine is a dominatrix and Clip model who can be seen on her own personal website www.goddessceline.com.  She also has several clips available at clips4sale.  The below clip has her as a vampire encouraging the viewer in a very sexual manor.

Vampiress Model: Pocahontas Jones

Pocahontas Jones is an adult film actress out of Tampa, Florida.  Her specialty is generally in the neighborhood of doing films that focus on women with curvier figures (tits and ass porn).  In the below clip she gets attacked and bitten by an invisible monster and when she wakes up masturbates on her couch now as a hissing vampire.

Vampiress Model: "India Summer"

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Vampiress Model: Anastasia Pierce

Anastasia Peirce is a fetish and Cosplay model.  She has been featured on many other sites and is in several galleries in this site for other models.  She now has her own site and and clip store.  Below is a sample of some of her videos.

Vampiress Review: Sleepless Nights

The Gist:  When a woman who works for a group of vampire hunting mercenaries is diagnosed with Cancer she seeks out a vampire in hopes to extend her life.

Clarification:  Decent story but a very amateur film.  The story itself has a very illogical flow where people figure out things after being given little to no information to be able to figure out said things.  It sounds like a knit pick but the entire flow of the film is based on that happening.  In other words it's one of those films that depends on film cliches happening to forward the plot even where those cliches don't make sense.

Selling Point:  Female vampire cliche's... Oh and did I mention the main protagonist vampires name is Christian Grey. 

Female vampire Factor: Your protagonist vampire of the film was turned by his wife Allison (Courtney Balaker). 

She pretty much has the same role as Blades mother as a tool used to catch the films protagonist off guard by using someone he cares about.  Unfortunately she's terrible at it and her appearance in the film is to do nothing more than set up her own quick death despite the fact that finding her was supposed to be a major plot point (BTW they don't actually find her or have a chance to look, she just kind of magically shows up at a convenient time). 

You then get the stereotypical damsel in distress turned into blood thirsty vampire who'd rather talk about how she's going to eat you while sounding more like a dominatrix than a monster than actually eat you Carla (Kelley Busby).

This scene would have been hot if she didn't look like she just escaped from a lesbian biker bar.

Finally you have the cancer stricken vampire hunter Kaitlin (Jacqueline Anderson).

 (

The cliche final scene in which she says goodbye to her now ex as she moves on to her new vampire life.  If you missed it just watch the end of Queen of the Damned (which came out the same year).   Same thing but without fangs.

I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  This film is more "great attempt at a vampire film with no budget and amateurs actors" bad more than "lazy independent film maker" bad.

Vampiress Review: Sampson vs the Vampire Women

The Gist:  A curse makes it so when a young girl turns 21 a group of female vampires will come for her to make her one of them and her father calls on the Luchadore Sampson to protect her from that happening.

Clarification:  Sampson aka El Santo was a very popular Luchadore (pro wrestler) in Mexico so they made a bunch of movies where he basically is a super hero.

Generally the films are the equivalent to pro wrestling versions of a Jackie Chan film, in other words he single handedly beats up hordes and hordes of unnamed henchman using professional wrestling moves in repetitive fight scenes.  Since obviously they won't show a man beating on women the vampire women have weird looking male henchman.

Selling Point:  Vampire Women is in the title so pretty much all you need at this point.

Female Vampire Factor:  Well there are a bunch in the film but the only one to get real screen time would be the head vampire of the group "Tandra" played by Ofelia Montesco

She  is your basic vampire stereotype complete with dark eye makeup, leggy gown with cloak and haunting voice.

Then you have the Vampire Queen Thorina (Lorena Velazquez)

 Basically the two spend the bulk of the film stalking the house the girl who is supposed to join them lives in doing lots of staring.

The film is cheesy with lots of dialogue overly describing the backstory of the plot throughout.  This is both good and bad since it comes off like a 60's/70's style Japanese cartoon in execution but in turn the film gets straight to the action.  One positive is that this was the only vampire film rifted on the 80's/90's show Mystery Science Theater 3000 so if you're looking for further entertainment with it you always have that option.  Unfortunately there isn't much fanging out in the film with the most vampiric thing that happens in it being them turning into rubber looking bats in nearly every scene they appear.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5. 

Vampiress Review: "The Thirst"

The Gist:  A couple who was once dealing with drug addiction adds a new vice to deal with once they are turned into vampires.

Clarification:  So this is one of those blood lust is symbolism for drug addiction films.    Lisa a drug addicted stripper is dying of cancer.  She hides it from her recovering addict boyfriend until the last possible second but he eventually finds out just to freak out about it.  She then "commits suicide" and her boyfriend Max struggles with it.  When his friends take him out to a goth club to help him feel better one day he sees her alive and well. When he confronts her he finds out she's a vampire.  Unfortunately for him her new "family" captures him and gives Lisa the choice "turn him or kill him".  She chooses turning him and he becomes an uncontrollable monster.

They end up doing a role reversal from when they were alive where she is now the strong motivating one and he's the out of control one.  They eventually get through it and spend the remainder of the film running from "the family".

Selling Point:  Great vampire film in the same light as "Near Dark"

Female Vampire Factor:  The film follows an exotic dancer turned vamp named Lisa played by Clare Kramer.

She gets adopted by a vampire family.  Recruited by a "therapist" who happens to be the leader of the family Mariel (Serena Scott Thomas)

The family also includes a pair of weird slutty zombie like twins.

While the film does have sex in it the sex and the vampirism are completely separate. They don't have fangs so feeding consists of ripping the skin off and is super messy.

If you liked the film Near Dark I would actually say that this is at least in my opinion a better film than that.  It makes a lot more sense with the male protagonist at least having a real reason to give up his humanity for the girl and has a much more powerful story (and it doesn't hurt that the women for the most part are actually desirable.).   I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.

Vampiress XXX Review: "Fallen Wickedness Lustful Vampire Transformation Lesbian Vampire"

The Gist:  After a hospitalized woman gets a blood transfusions with vampire blood she wreaks havoc sucking blood and spreading vampirism.

Clarification: This is a storyline based Japanese adult video. The premise is very simple where basically vampirism is being spread through out a hospital by one finding someone biting them resulting in them turning then having sex with them.  The genitalia is pixelated but it doesn't really take away from the film which is highly enjoyable because it gets straight to the point.

Selling Point: Mostly lesbian scenes and once they turn, their fangs are always showing.

Female Vampire Factor: This film stars Ami Adachi, Marie Konishi, Kurea Hasumi, Mei Matsumoto, & Miki Sunohara in six scenes featuring pixelated sex.   

Scene 1: After discovering she is now a vampire the patient (Sunohara) masturbates in bed.

Scene 2: Vampire patient (Sunohara) attacks and turns a nurse (Hasumi)

Scene 3: The nurse (Hasumi) now a vampire attacks an unsuspecting doctor

Scene 4: The vampire patient (Sunohara) learns it was her doctor (Matsumoto) who turned her

Scene 5: The hospital vampires attack a nun (Konishi)

Scene 6: Having fed on everyone in the hospital the vampires celebrate.

I've yet to see a lesbian vampire JAV that I haven't enjoyed as they are all pretty much the same and the format works.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "Apocrypha"

The Gist: Two separate people with amnesia share a secret they don't know about.  They're vampires.

Clarification:  This is one of those "logically challenged" films that's written so that there is some type of conflict happening at all times.  Basically it's one of those annoying films were most of the characters exhibit bi-polar behavior and get really defensive and angry over little things just so there is some type of conflict on screen.  Probably the most obnoxious thing in the film outside of that is the over exaggerated gulping noise whenever a vampire drinks blood from a jar in the film.  Once the couple remembers who they are the female wants to be cured and the male just wants to eat everyone.

Selling Point: After the amnesia is gone the film gets slightly more enjoyable

Female Vampire Factor:  You've got two vampires in this film.  One being a female named Maggie (Kat Reichmuth).  Maggie is pretty much the only halfway likeable character in the movie as she does have a conscience and is actually kind of a nice person.   The fact that she's a vampire is something that haunts her emotionally and literally (she has hallucinations of her vampire side).

Eventually she gets told that all she needs to do to become a human again is to kill the other vampire aka her fiance Griffith (who by that point she isn't too fond of anyway).  The messed up thing is she does, ends up returning to a human just to be bitten by someone she attacked earlier in the film less than five minutes later returning her to being a vampire.

 Basically this was a nowhere near as entertaining version of the film "She Lives by Night".  Had this film only followed Maggie and only used the character Griffith as an antagonist it would have been miles more entertaining.  Instead you're treated to almost an hour and 45 minutes of social awkwardness with maybe 10 minutes of vampire related horror sprinkled in.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. 

 

Vampiress XXX Review: "Erotic Vampires of Beverly Hills"

The Gist: A nosy housewife fears for her life when she discovers her neighbors are vampires.

Clarification:  After killing one too many village girls in their homeland of Transylvania Vlad Dracula and is wife Mortishia have to relocate to their summer home in Beverly Hills.  Unfortunately for them a vampire slayer has followed them and continues to hunt them with the help of their nosy neighbor across the street.

Now that we've gotten the plot summary out the way let's get down to the real deal.  This is a middle of the pack softcore porn.  Not exactly terrible but far from great.  The bulk of the film is sex scenes but it does have a plot which at times is way more interesting than the simulated sex scenes (which to be honest aren't very good).

Selling Point: Once you're bitten in this film you immediately turn.  Great rule for a film with only 2 male main characters.

Female Vampire Factor:  Despite the great rule used in the selling point the Dracula family live off of synthetic blood (or at least try to) so biting happens pretty scarce.  The film starts with a village girl (Cassandra Cruz) who gets bitten getting destroyed by a vampire slayer so you do get some brief female fangs right off the bat.

After that there is only two more instances of female fangs.  I do have to commend the casting of Adriana Chechik as Mortishia.

  She absolutely looks the part of a vampiress and it's an absolute shame you don't get to see more of her.

The final vamp comes in the form of the character Stacy (Jazy Berlin) who is a main character in the film as both the friend of the nosy housewife Jane and the co-worker of Janes husband Bob.  She also has a thing for Bob but for most of the film he blows her off.  The last scene of the film is her going to Jane and Bobs house and flashing her fangs at them (she was bitten during a lesbian threesome between her Mortishia and Jane which is easily the best sex scene in the film).

While it is a pretty average softcore porn it is pretty much the best vampire softcore porn I've seen since 2010's Twilight Vamps.  I say that not because it's good but because the movies that have come out since then were all pretty much all sex and maybe one vampire related scene where as this at least attempts to be a vampire film.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.