Vampiress Review: Vampitheatre

The Gist: There's a band and they play music and people get killed...that's about it.

Clarification:  Another Indy flick that falls into the "great concept, terrible execution" category but then again most vampire movies about bands do (though the TV show Port Charles did a B+ job of it as did Queen of the Damned).  Problem with this one is that they try to build a horror movie out of a mock documentary of a real band so it's actually 86 minutes of trying to sell their music to the viewing audience complete with music video's and fake MTV style reporting on them.  Sprinkled in between all that is a story about people being murdered by vampires and the FBI interviewing people so basically it's the same format as an episode of Beavis and Butthead just without them mocking the music.

As for the music itself it's not gothic moaning and isn't terrible at all (for the most part) and the music video's are very well put together so it doesn't stop the movie dead like the main problem with Gothic Vampires from Hell which has long periods of nothingness while they sell you the music.  If you weren't really paying attention you would probably think the film was about a "Berlin" cover ban.  I will warn you if you expect any type of real ending..don't.  What I put in the Gist is the entire movie from beginninng to end.

Selling Point:  Their music producer looks like the special Olympics drug dealer from South Park.  If you put that on the cover I'd be more inclined to buy it...just saying.

Female Vampire Factor:  OK here's the thing.  Every member of the band Theatre Peace which this film is about is supposed to be a vampire but since they're too busy doing band stuff they never actually do anything vampiric which is sad because two of them are MILF hot.

Janice Olive as "Jezebel" (Bass)

Dana Cheshire as "Ariana" (lead vocals)

  You do get a creepy lesbo scene where the vampire queen (Linnea Quigley) bites and turns an aspiring singer.

Obviously that's not going to sell you the movies since she pretty much looks like she's decomposing.  Luckily there is one SUPER hot vamp in the movie.  Her name is Nichole (actually she doesn't have a name in the film but her real name is Nichole Dye so in the credits she's "Nichole Die" brilliant right?).

Anyway Nichole is one of the bands groupies.  In one scene in the film while the group is doing a concert she's backstage half naked feeding on a guy and gets caught.

 Then for whatever reason instead of pretending they don't know her one of the band members pretty much takes full responsibility for this sexy person we've never seen before and strong arms the witness into not ratting them out by first ratting out everyone he knows as being a vampire then saying they'll kill him if he tellls.

Outside of that scene I would only recommend watching it if you want to watch music video's of a middle aged rock band.  I give this film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "Vampire Dentist"

The Gist:  When a struggling startup private dental practice needs money they subcontract to a night shift dentist who's a vampire with vampire clientel.

Clarification:  The idea of a vampire dentist in a horror movie would make sense and be pretty decent if done right.  I mean the guy could theoretically work nights and suck peoples blood without them knowing after he puts them to sleep, possible cause an outbreak of vampirism before moving to a different town and starting over.  Do not look for that here as this is an absurdly cheep B-grade dark comedy that takes place in what seems to be an empty warehouse.

It's about as well written as your average elementary school writing assignment complete with bad fart and anatomy jokes (The two lead dentists names are "Moe Lars and Pierce Able").  The two struggling day shift dentists pretty much sexually harass every woman that comes to their office (in a G rated way) yet they still somehow have business.  We won't even mention the running gag of the fact that delivery drivers always start off by saying that they couldn't find the place due to there being no sign yet the clients find it no problem.   

Eventually the film then remembers that they think they need a storyline so after well over an hour of just people with different "comical" personality quirks coming into the dentist office and getting seen by dentists they decide to throw in a sort of love triangle between the vampire dentist, one of the daytime dentists (who switches to nights halfway through to help with the vampire clientele for some reason) and a blind woman.  Again, elementary school writing assignment level so don't expect it to make sense or mean anything. In fact, since the movie HAS NO ENDING don't really take anything that happens in it seriously.  This is literally an hour and a half of filler with no real purpose that just stops. 

Female Vampire Factor:  All the night clients are vampires but basically cartoony versions.  Goth makeup, cheep fangs, black clothing and Dracula capes.  All the female vamps (and pretty much everyone else in the film) are clients in the "waiting room" of the makeshift dentists office the film is located in.

 In between the dentist scenes are various outdoor scenes of the vampires attacking the day clients which would then turn them creating more clients for the night dentist (Dr Vam Dent)

There is even kind of an awkward scene toward the end of the movie where they recycle one of the films actresses that played a vampire in an earlier scene.

Which wouldn't even be noticeable if they didn't go out of their way to tell you that's exactly what's happening.

So obviously this was a film that was made as campy as possible for the film makers amusement.  Normally this type of film only works if it's more sarcastic humor.  The type of comedy you see here is better used if It would have been  a 10 minute comedy skit instead of an hour and a half movie that threatens its viewing audience with a sequel when nothing happened in the one they just watched.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.

 

Vampiress Review: "Exit 38"

The Gist:  A vampire who needs to sacrifice women in order to get unlimited power takes over a strip club in order to meet his quota while a group of hunters tries to stop him.

Clarification: This goes down as one of the few low budget Indy films that has actually done an OK job of having several plots going at one time.  You have the plot about the vampire and the hunters then a sub plot about two girls trying to earn their way to California by stripping.  On top of that the hunters are at odds with each other over the death of their wife/daughter who was killed in a botched attack of the main vampire.  Finally you have a plot about the towns sheriff harassing and raping young women.  It does have some stereotypical low budget forced plot points, some of which are kind of funny (IE a rookie stripper getting boo'd for being a bad stripper, because if there's one place known for having high standards its a strip club.)

Selling Point:  It's a vampire movie that takes place in a strip club but with a bit of effort put into it. 

Female Vampire Factor:  There are two in this film (yeah I know only two female vampires in a vampire strip club movie).  First you have Christina (Stevie Dean)

Christina is the woman who's death the hunters fight over but obviously as you can see she didn't die.  The thing is her being a vampire isn't even the biggest plot twist in the story especially regarding her.

Then there's Pat (Josie Harris)

Pat gets turned by the main vampire but only fangs out in a scene where she seduces and attacks one of the hunters (who she later develops a relationship with which would be believable if not for the age difference but then against she is supposed to be a stripper so nevermind).  IF the name of this actress sounds familiar it's probably because you read a lot of tabloids as this is the hotty who went through the REALLY messy breakup with boxing star Floyd Mayweather. 

For low budget movie standards it's decent.  In fact the ending of the movie is above average with the problem being some of the stuff you have to get through just to get to that point.  The biggest takeway for this blog of course being that a strip club movie full of naked women being bitten only has two fem vamps.  For that I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5. 

 

Vampiress Review: "Livestock"

The Gist:  Two stories one of a mob like organization of vampires dealing with a power struggle and another with a young woman trying to put her personal life back together end up entertwined.

Clarification:  If you've ever seen the Don Cheadle movie "Crash" then you pretty much know how this movie ends as it's pretty much the same premise just not as well articulated which takes away from what the movie tries to accomplished.   You see for something like this to work the viewer has to have some sort of emotional connection to the characters ESPECIALLY the ones who are eventually wronged.  Problem is they didn't develop any of the non vampire characters at all let alone enough that you would care what happens to any of them.  As a matter of fact your only real interaction with Annabel (Johanna Gorton) and Tina (Christina C. Crawford) is them talking about their lives in two scenes.  You don't experience anything that happens in their everyday life outside of stuff directly related to the plot.  In essence they're no more important in this movie then the vampires random victim in the beginning which makes any scene with them in it really a waste of time. 

Basically this would have been better off as a straight forward horror movie as those are the only scenes in the film that come anywhere near what they are attempting to accomplish  All the mobster stuff and the girls club scenes are time filler

Selling Point:  Tina is hot at least

Female Vampire Factor:  There are two, Natalia (Irina Peligrad) and Bella (Aurora Grabill)

and they are in the best scene in the movie as part of a group of rogue vampires who don't believe in their packs (nit pick:  The films writer didn't understand packs are wolves and vampires are a brood) idea of only feeding on humans that no one will miss (the old "only feed on the homeless and prostitutes rule")  Fangs are there but BARELY seen (Actually only Natalia shows fangs).

 As mentioned this is the best part of the film and the only thing that really falls into the "horror" genre as like I mentioned before it comes off as a mobster movie before that.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "Requim for a Vampire (2006)"

The Gist:  A brood of vampires have to figure out how to have a funeral when one of their members dies of a blood disease.

Clarification:  Not to be confused with the 1971 Jean Rollins movie of the same name this one is pretty much what I would imagine a bad dream after eating Mexican food after 1 AM would be.  Not only does it have low budget movie A.D.D. but it switches genres so many times that it might as well be a skit on "Who's Line is it Anyway".  It literally goes from Comedy to Drama to Horror to a musical (yes it breaks out into a "Sad" song and dance a half hour in), to Straight porn then to gay porn etc.  Somewhere in there it's also a couples vacation movie.  Either way the Gist I gave you is the closest thing to a plot you will find.  Especially since the one they provide for you is more of a generality than the actual premise of the film.  Honestly if you watch the film it comes off as a bunch of random scenes between 1 and 10 minutes long that can be loosely tied together.  I found myself many times watching just an odd 1 minute clip of something happening in the film and thinking "what the hell was that?"

Selling Point:  I can only imagine what this movie would be like if drunk or high.

Female Vampire Factor:  Pretty much all the women in it are vamps but outside of one scene (where there are no fangs) it's not a very vampiric movie.   The only fanging out you get is Lenora (Deana Demko)

who fangs out every time she lays her giant breasts on someones head (I wish I could explain that better but the movie doesn't explain it at all and it happens twice.

and Tara Wolf (Jamie Stone)

 Tara is a paranormal expert who gets turned in exchange for helping Vampire Micheal (Lenora's brother and the boyfriend of the deceased) get information on vampire funerals.  At least I guess that's what happens as her character becomes a member of Micheals band and is kind of a bodygaurd once she's turned and you never see or hear of her research ever again aside from her mentioning how fast she can read books.

This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  To be honest I enjoyed it quite a bit but not for any good reasons.  If you get as much enjoyment out of train wrecks like Tommy Wiseau's the Room like I do, this is a few notches below that on the absurdity scale.   

Vampiress Review: "Night Junkies"

The Gist:  After a chance meeting a stripper down on her luck meets up with and falls for a vampire.

Clarification:  Actually this movie is pretty much back to back rape and gore scenes with very little substance.  In fact it's not much of a vampire movie as "vampirism" in this film is just symbolism for drug addiction so you get a lot of scenes of the two main characters lying around and whining about their addiction.

Selling Point:  There are strippers and a lot of nudity (but that doesn't even make it watchable). 

Female Vampire Factor: No fangs and self hating vampires are probably my two biggest pet peeves in a vampire movie.  Freddie Krugar never killed the kids of Elm Street then thought about going to therapy for it because he was miserable about it.  That's what made the whole thing scary.  I know there is an audience for the "junkies suffering through their miserable lives" genre so if you're into that then you might like this as it basically is a horror non urban version of the 1998 film "The Players Club" complete with Ruby working as a stripper at a club that encourages taking drugs and sex with customers and the biggest issue being customers getting physical with them (which happens in almost every sex scene).  Also if you're just a fan of seeing movies full of nudity then this will pretty much fall under something that might be watchable as lets face it Katia Winter as Ruby Stone is pretty hot.

Otherwise if you don't fall into any of those categories than this film will come off dull, repetitive and just downright boring.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  For a better tortured vampire love story I highly recommend the 2012 film Kiss of the Damned.  

Vampiress Review: Darkfall Resurrection

The Gist:  A space expedition leads to an ancient vampire being awakened and a young couple must do what they can to stop him and save her father.

Clarification:  The story is told in flashback format from the point of view of an old man talking to a group of vampire hunting trainee's about what started the issues they're training for in the first place.   The film itself is 100% green screen CGI but don't expect Star Wars/Avatar type level.  This is more along the lines of Devry Institute commercial/1990's early CD video game technology stuff.  As a matter of fact the movie itself does come off a lot like one of those old full motion video "you select the outcome" games that you could buy once upon a time for the 3DO or Sega CD (and probably would be better used that way if those type of games were still relevant). 

The main takeaway from the film is the bad audio dubbing.  The acting isn't great by any means (you can barely call it that) but it just sticks out that much more when the characters expressions don't match their tone of voice whatsoever. Otherwise the story itself (once you get past the old man talking parts) is pretty solid.

Selling Point:  If you've got any Sci Fi nerd in you it might be worth taking a look at.

Female Vampire Factor: They exist but not important whatsoever as this is more of a Sci Fi film with vampires than a Vampire film with sci fi elements.  Only the main vamp is important to the movie with everyone he turns just being quick shot background fodder.

 

 (SPOILER ALERT)

Ultimately you do find out that the main character of the story Alexandra (Jessica Craike) did get turned and you do see her sporting fangs but it doesn't amount to more than a conversation that reveals the true identity of the old man telling the story as her love interest before she was turned. 

 My recommendation is to only check this out if you're looking for a sci-fi space adventure flick.  As far as Vampires go it gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. 

    

Vampiress Review: "Bloodwine"

The Gist:  Things get out of control when a a strange wine shop owner convinces a college student to buy a specialty wine which turns whomever drinks it into a vampire.

Clarification:  This film was a pleasant surprise as I didn't have high hopes for it (especially with the 1 hour 42 minute run time and the first 50 being drawn out scenes establishing the two roommates past together.) but once it gets past that it's a damn good vampire flick.

Andrea is a girl who became goth after loosing her boyfriend and is about to get another new roommate at her college dorm as her last few end up dropping out of school.  She's happy to find out that the new roommate is her childhood best friend Brandy and for the next 45 or so minutes of the film you find out that Andrea was picked on a lot when they were young and Brandy always had her back.  This fact is kind of important to the film but as I said establishing this point goes on to the level that you're thinking "OK we get it already, they're friends".

Anyway Brandy's birthday is coming up so Andrea goes to a wine shop and after a longer than needed conversation about her not liking the last one, a lady (who we actually see at the beginning of the movie is a vampire that Andrea eventually kills since the movie starts with it's ending) hands him a bottle and pretty much tells him to sell it to her for whatever she can afford which he does.

Later on Brandy finds the bottle in the dorm room and without knowing what it was drinks it, gets really sick goes to the nurse and bites her (YES!)  then proceeds to spend the rest of the movie biting every other character in it that was not Andrea.

Selling Point:  She likes it...she really likes it.   This is definitely not one of those self hating vampire films.   Once Brandy turns she's a seductress and in the end just wants poor "door mat" Andrea to feel as good as she does.

Female Vampire Factor:  Can't get any better than a movie about a female vampire in this category so I'll just start with the most important one which is Brandy (Lora Meins)

 Vampire Brandy is evil but in a very noble sort of way.  The one thing all of her victims have in common is that at some point in the movie they were mean in some way shape or form to Andrea (which goes back to the conversations at the movies beginning that established that Brandy was always the person protecting Andrea from bullies). As a matter of fact at the movies end when Brandy is explaining her motives it's really hard to see her negatively.  Who wouldn't want a woman in lingerie who is so loyal that she'll take out anyone who'll even look at you wrong.  She's honestly a less pushy version of Violet from True Blood.

Then you have the Vamp that turned her Carmilla (Vanessa Leinani)

 She's only actually seen in 4 scenes in the film.  The first is the very beginning of the film where they show her eventual demise.  The second being when she sells Andrea the wine.  The third when she appears in Brandy's dream after Brandy drinks the tainted wine and the last being the above clip when she tries to drink from Andrea.  The last two scenes are pretty hot actually with her seducing the two girls.  The main thing you get about Carmilla (an obvious tribute to legendary vampire seductress "Carmilla Karnstein") is that she was targeting Andrea to be the one to turn the whole time.   Otherwise her role is pretty much forgotten and you never actually see anything that leads up to the battle between the two that starts the movie. 

This movie has pretty high rewatchability (especially if you just start at the 45 minute mark) and two hot seductive vampires.  Vampire Beauty rating of 5 out of 5.  Could the overall movie have been better?...sure but as far as these low budget films go this is definitely well above average storytelling for a vampire film.

  

Vampiress Review: "Cave of the Living Dead"

The Gist:  A big city detective comes to a small European village to investigate the suspicious deaths of some of the young girls in the village.

Clarification: One of the few horror films in existence where the main character is as smart as the viewing audience which in actuality makes it not much of a horror movie and more of a detective film.  In fact the lead character Detective Frank Dorin (Adrien Hoven) is very Sherlock Holmes like in a way which makes him pretty bad ass.

As the story goes everyone in the small village knows the deaths are vampire related and blames (righfully so) the professor/scientist who lives in the spooky castle but the towns doctor who doesn't believe in the supernatural proclaims all the deaths of heart failure. When Detective Dorin comes to town he has no issues once all the facts are together in trying to convince the doctor otherwise.

Selling Point:  Detective Dorin is such a bad ass that his reaction to everything down to the vampires trying to attack him at night is modern day action movie style sarcastic one liners and quips and this film was made in Italy in 1964.

Quip example (paraphrased):  John the Butler:   How did you sleep last night?
Detective Dorin:  "Oh I had a wonderful dream where two beautiful women snuck into my room and...well it was just a dream"  He then proceeds to find the secret passageway the vampires snuck in through and searches it with no fear whatsoever.

One liner example (paraphrased): after they find the body of one of the dead (and now turned) village girls in a well wearing a black dress once her body which was in her white death dress goes missing the day before he tells the town police and non believing doctor "She must not have agreed with the white dress she had on before".   

Female Vampire Factor:  despite the premise of the film there are only 3.5 vampires in the film total but 2.5 of them are women.   First you have Maria the nice lady at the Inn the inspector is staying at (Erika Remberg)

Maria rises from her death bed as a vampire

She is seen in another scene with another vamp attempting to bite the detective (the .5) but the other vamp is never explained and never really seen again (we just assume it to be another of the towns victims).  The awkward thing about Maria is that once she dies she is literally only active at night (specifically at midnight).  Other than that she's just your regular lifeless corpse who the town seems to enjoy moving around a lot.  You would think after the first instance of placing a corpse in a location just to find it the next day somewhere completely different wearing different clothes and sporting fangs (which she does when they find her in the well) you might use some extra precautions than leaving the absent minded police squad (there are two officers in the entire force BTW) to guard her.

Maria's body as found at the bottom of the towns well after it goes missing

Since their equivalent of securing the vampires body is placing it on a slab or bed and basically saying "now don't move" she eventually gets out again and kills one of the towns two cops by throwing a perfectly aimed boulder onto him while missing the person standing right next him and then biting that person who happens to be Karin (Karin Field) the would be love interest of the detective (and official eye candy of the film with her lingerie spooky castle night clothes).  That would be if the detective wasn't such a bad ass that he blows off her attempt at hitting on him earlier in the movie (she's also the head vampire/town professors assistant).

This is by far quickest vampire turn I've seen ever and that says something considering how many of these films I've seen and this includes the rather quick turns in the 7 golden vampires, the main victim in Waxwork and Lucy Laweless's turn in the Bacchae episode of Xena. Karin is literally bitten and the second the vampiress (slowly) scurries away she has fangs.  She's also cured of her vampirism within 30 seconds of that with a magic potion.   

If there was ever a film that would probably do well with a modern remake it would be this one.  I can imagine what this could have been with a more solid story, better acting and the elimination of the constant reminder that there's a "colored guy" in the town (John Kitzmiller of "Dr. No" fame).  Just food for thought.  As for this one I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Tons of potential but at the end of the day its a film about the coolest vampire hunter ever and not so much the vamps.   

Vampiress Review: "Vampire Diary"

The Gist:  A woman doing a documentary on the weekend vampire lifestyle in UK goth clubs ends up falling for a woman who ends up being a real vampire.

Clarification:  If you're a horror fan you might want to steer clear of this film.  If you're into the Lifetime network "women struggling to survive in the real world" type drama's then this is definitely for you.

The first thing you will notice about this film is that it is basically "Paranormal Activity" if it took place in England and you eliminate all the sleeping scenes and replace them with lesbian sexual tensions scenes.  If you've never seen Paranormal Activity the good folks at Screen Junkies put together a great "honest movie trailer" that sums up nicely every complaint I had on the movie which you can view HERE.

So if you watched that you now know that means the entire movie is from different camcorder points of view.  Both main character Holly and "Vicki the Vampire" are recording their entire life up to and including Vicki's murdering spree which honestly seems like a lot of work for no reason and just sloppy on the killers part.

Then just when you think the film is getting to a guy friendly level of lesbian sexuality you find out Vicki the vampire is pregnant after being raped by a male vampire (which is told to you and not shown) and her and Holly start having relationship troubles which take up the majority of the final half hour of the film (see, like I said total Lifetime movie of the week stuff).

If you're the logic police then this movie is definitely not for you.   Keep in mind it's not the fact that her girlfriend is a psychopathic serial killer that bothers Holly, it's that she won't confide in her more while she's murdering people.  Honestly if you say the premise out loud it really just sounds like you're watching a Jerry Springer episode: "I'm in love with a homicidal lesbian who got impregnated by another man". 

Oh yeah and there is that one scene where Vickie shoots a guy before sucking his blood then along with Holly (who once again is recording all of this) ties him up and before they can throw his body in the river he wakes up.  Their first reaction is we probably need to shoot him (Which again, Vicki already did once).  So I'll give my fingers a rest and let Bane explain what's wrong with that.


Selling Point:  uhhhh??...it's got the dad from "Young Dracula" in it.   That's cool I guess.

Famale Vampire Factor: Vicki the Vampire is your only true Vampire in the film but the only female with fangs in the film is the vamp wannabe "Haze" (Kate Sissons).

Kate Sissons as "Haze"

So why is it the fake vampire has fangs but the real one doesn't?

Anna Walton as "Vicki"

Well this is actually well explained in the film.  You see Vicki did once have fangs but they were removed when she was younger by her caretakers in an effort to make her look more human (she was a vampire orphan).  It is also explained that the media has the vampire look wrong and that vampires actually have 4 fangs and not 2.  (This means that the vampires from Tales From the Crypt presents Bordello of Blood are an accurate representation of the look of a real vampire by this films logic). Eventually young Vicki is left to fend for herself as she starts attacking the other children at the orphanage which leads her to the nomadic life she has at the time of the film. 

The film is watchable and does lead to intrigue as to what will happen to Holly and Vicki who become a serial killing british lesbian goth version of "Thelma and Louise" but as a vampire movie this gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  If you want a similar story but more vampiric check out the Canadian horror/comedy "Bitten".

Vampiress Review: "Always From Darkness"

The Gist:  A down in the dumps guy who lives with his sister finds himself neck deep in trouble when he becomes the object of a female vampires affections.

Clarification:  Ok...see the gist. Had the makers of this film just gone with that and kept with it despite how amateurish the whole thing is the movie would have been enjoyable.  Unfortunately this film falls into pretty much every "do not do" that amateur film makers find themselves in.

From a storytelling perspective it has serious A.D.D.   The movie starts out from the point of view of the main character Jude typing out his life story and narrating.  Once the movie gets going this is never visited again.  Then the sound is almost non existent with the background music drowning out the dialogue in most scenes not that the night time scenes are bright enough to see anyway.  After that you have the unexplained randomly thrown in side stories.  Apparently there is some type of vampire government that the main vamp Anastasia is a part of  that she has to ask permission in order to be able to turn Jude which she asks for in a ridiculously long and drawn out scene that constantly goes back and fourth from a stationary camera to a camera that is literally a guy walking around a room constantly (IE shakey and unwatchable without motion sickness).also she has bad blood with another vampire in the group "Delilah" but there is never any explanation as to why that is (other than the fact that amateur film makers love having people argue on camera for some reason).

Speaking of which you then have the awkward relationship between Jude and his sister where they basically argue for no reason about stuff no normal brother and sister would argue about which just makes him out to be socially awkward and her a nagging bitch.  In other words there are no likable characters in this film to get an emotional investment in one way or the other.

Finally in odd side story world you have the story of Jude's sisters best friend Amy who all of a sudden always knew that Judes new girl was a vampire because she's been stalking them for awhile because she wanted to be turned but this is only found out just before she's killed mid film despite Amy meeting Anastatia MUCH earlier in the film when she comes to pick up Jude for their first date giving her the ability to give both her best friend and Jude a warning to stay away from her (which she doesn't). 

All of this could probably be forgiven if it weren't for the fact that the films ending just screamed "we got lost in our own story and have no clue how to end it so we'll just roll credits here".  This happens when you add 92 sub plots to a movie whose main story could have and should have carried it.    I had the same complaint for the movie "Kiss of the Damned" but that was forgivable since the entire movie before that looked good.  Not so much in this case.

Selling Point:  There is nudity...that's a plus.

Female Vampire Factor:  So you have your main vampire Anastasia (Danielle Paccione).

Then you have the vamp who hates her Delilah (Kaitlin Chadwick)

Finally you have random naked vampire chick that shows up whenever Jude is about to or has encountered Anastasia who is known in the credits as "Vampire Succubus" (Michelle Trasattie)

No real explanation of her purpose .  You see her twice and both times it ends with her climbing on top of Jude and as she gets close he wakes up from being asleep.

I give this a Vampire Beauty rating of 2 out of 5.  As I said the story idea was there and they seemed to drop the ball.  The writer/director of the film probably should have watched Fright Night 2 or Vampires Kiss as an inspiration on how to pull this type of film off.   Anastasia should have been the main antagonist of the film using Judes depression over his last relationship against him and haunting him at every available moment (no backstory of why she's doing it would then be needed because the reason would be she's evil). Jude would be the movies pawn that you feel sorry for and the further he falls into Anastasias trap the more he changes as a person and alienates his family.  That would leave Judes sister as the would be hero of the film fighting the evil female vampire for her brothers soul because she loves him.  Now was that difficult?