Female vampires once ruled the world. Now they are overlooked for glittering guys with big hair. It's time to point out why the female of the species should be the center of attention.
The Gist: Two college girls looking to find the grave of a murderous countess for their thesis end up accidentally bringing the bloodthirsty woman back to life and it's up to the man who took them in to save them who happens to have a dark secret of his own.
Clarification: This is one of those "yell at the screen" films where you really have to wonder who would believe that opening a grave and pulling a cross out of a dead corpse seems like a good idea. Then when you cut yourself somehow, why it would seem like an even better idea to hold your bleeding arm over the mouth of the corpse. This combined with expressing your undying love to a man you've only known for a couple of days, a man who by the way didn't let you know that his homicidal sister who goes after you was living in the house with all of you. Which all pales in comparison to the whole being a werewolf thing which he also failed to explain till after all the other millions of bad things came out including the guy he intrusted you to attempting to kidnap and rape you. I guess what I'm trying to say is these girls are really, really, REALLY stupid.
Selling Point: If you're going to be stupid, at least be hot. Genevieve (Barbara Capell) definitely falls into that category. Especially with the lingerie she wore during their first night at the lodge.
Female Vampire Factor: As you can tell by the title, the main antagonist of the film is indeed a female vampire.
Patty Shephard (Countess Wandesa)
The Countess Wandesa Darvula de Nadasdy played by Patty Shephard
To be quite honest, you really don't see too much of her as most of the time she has the black vale over her face. On top of that, up until the end of the movie she rarely does anything for herself, instead enlisting the services of the lovely Genevieve to do much of her leg work presumably until she gets to full strength.
Barbara Capell (Genevieve)
Gen is one of the two girls just trying to get their degree by finishing this project. Unfortunately for her she goes down for a drink of water one minute and the next she has a mouth full of fangs and spends the rest of the film either attempting to seduce and bite her BFF Elvira.
or frolicking with her new BFF, the countess.
She is indeed the poster girl of the film and the first thing that comes to mind when you think back to it as it's normally her doing all the evil stuff and not the countess. Combine that with the fact that her (and pretty much any other evil female in this film) goes into PG lesbo mood when going after Elvira I give this film a vampire beauty rating of 4 out of 5. The only thing that would have made it better is if it was rated "R" lesbo mode but it doesn't make Gen any less of a hot vampire stalker.
The Gist: 3 Vampires go around a town turning other people into vampires and its up to a small group of hunters to stop them.
Clarification: Basically this movie has a really deep back story about an alternate dimension where vampires rule humans with only a few human survivors left sort of like a vampire incarnation of the Terminator. Being this is an indy flick of course they don't really have the budget for that so you just pretty much hear about it. Anyway the Queen vampire and her two head generals end up in our more human friendly dimension in order to turn all the humans here. Some of the last surviving humans end up here as well to hunt them down (which results in the question, if they could have left the evil vampire dimension for a non vampire one wouldn't it have just been easier to evacuate all the humans from that one to this one?)
Selling Point: See Female Vampire Factor!!!
Female Vampire Factor: What can I say, there definitely isn't a shortage. As a matter of fact, you can't really go too long in the film without a random hot chick with fangs showing up as you can see below.
As a matter of fact (!!SPOILER ALERT!!) I believe there is only one female in the entire cast that isn't or doesn't become a vampire
That doesn't even factor in the main vamps.. The Vampire Queen
Leanne Chamish
And her large breasted henchwoman
Syn Devil
Basically if you watch the entire movie on mute it's about a group of guys who run around sticking wood in hot women and their guy friends for 83 minutes all controlled by another hot woman who likes watching her friends have sex. For that the movie gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 OUT OF 5. This movie was far superior to the other film I reviewed from TimeWarp Films "Vampire Sisters" and that's without anywhere near the T & A factor that one had.
The Gist: Two girls try to make it through life in modern day New York City as vampires.
Clarification: Goody and Stacy are two best friends and roommates who have shared their life together ever since Stacy was turned sometime in the 1990's. One day Stacy falls in love with the son of a vampire slayer and gets pregnant by him. In order to have the baby she will need to go back to being a human and the only way that will happen is if the vampire that turned her is killed (which would revert her to the age she would have been if not turned). The problem is, if this happens it means death to Goody who has always told Stacy they were the same age but is actually MUCH older.
Selling Point: Best described as "cute". This movie is funny and very entertaining and has tons of rewatchability. Basically take some of your best buddy comedies and give it short skirts and fangs.
Female Vampire Factor: Can't say there's a shortage since all the main characters are female vampires so here's the quick rundown.
Alicia Silverstone (Goody)
The 90's teen star who went from doing Aerosmith video's to pretty much being in everything else during that time period plays "Goody". Goody was turned in the 1800's to keep from dying from disease which was plaguing New York city during her lifetime. At that time she had already been married and had children and lived what would have been in her day an adult life. Most of her time as a vampire was very lonely up until she met Stacy who then taught her how to have fun and be young in the modern age. Goody always hid how old she was from Stacy (but not very well as she would ramble on about old times but just cover up how she knew it by saying she learned it on the history channel and openly complained about how modern technology frustrates her) as she explained "because having another vampire her age seemed to comfort her" but it worked the other way around just as much.
Krysten Ritter (Stacy)
The former "Breaking Bad" star plays Goody's best friend Stacy. Stacy was in her 20's and into the early 90's drugs and party scene when she was turned. Originally supposed to be a victim it was Goody who saved her life by convincing the vamp that turned them that she should be turned instead of killed because she'd make a good clothing model (Cisserus is very vain and since she can't see herself in a mirror she uses young attractive women to model her cloths in order to imagine what they'd look like on her). She's a very loyal friend and helps Goody adjust to 21st century life.
Sigourney Weaver (Cisserus)
Cisserus is the self centered amoral homicidal maker of Goody and Stacy. The biggest issue with her is that she doesn't think before she does anything. If she thinks a guys attractive, she's going after him (until she gets bored then she'll kill him). If she's hungry she'll kill an entire neighborhood, chop them up then dump the bodies on a street corner for anyone to find. This pretty much means, she's the only vampiric vampire in the movie but she's also a danger to the rest as the authorities and press begin to realize whats going on as her victims pile up.
As I mentioned, this is more of buddy comedy than anything else so Goody and Stacy only feed off of mice and rats. There is one scene where Goody goes out with a coke head musician where she's hit with a case of bloodlust as his nose starts to bleed but otherwise all feeding scenes are strictly with Cisserus. Stacy is a little more liberal with her vampire abilities so her fangs come out much more than Goodies in regular situations. Despite it being an extremely entertaining movie it gets a Vampire beauty rating of 4 out of 5. Marilu Henner also makes an appearance in the film but you never see her with fangs. Either way I highly recommend this film at least for its entertainment value.
All for you is a single by Romanian artist Raluka.
Raluka in her sexy vampire dress from the video for "All For You"
The video for the song takes place in an old creepy castle. Basically Raluka spends the song singing to a pale guy with big hair ala every female friendly vampire popular in the media today.
The selling point for guys in this case is the different combinations of gothic dresses and lingerie she wears while haunting this guy. In the end we realize that he is apparently mortal as he leaves the creepy castle into the daylight. Obviously she is not since as she watches him leave from a window we see the sunlight start to disintegrate her. This unfortunately is the only way we know she's a vampire as she does not have fangs.
The Gist: The last victim of Count Dracula tries to live a normal life when she's revived in the 1970's.
Clarification: This film is a comedy (more of a spoof really) of the vampire genre but a lot more entertaining as a serious horror and less funny than your average spoof. Basically a girl who was bitten by Dracula is awoken in 1970's Germany, lives a somewhat normal life with a job at a funeral parlor and attempts to have a love life. Problem is, her self control is almost non existent so even though she primarily feeds from already extracted blood from her job or at blood banks, if the opportunity arises to drink from the tap, it's being taken and the bodies begin to pile up.
Selling Point: Evelyn Kraft is HOT
Female Vampire Factor: There's only one but she is the movie so that's ok. She starts off young as that is the state she was in after Dracula turned her and she got locked away in her coffin.
A young and hungry Barbara played by Marion Kracht
But after she feeds she grows up and in a major way
Evelyn Kraft (Barbara von Weidenborn)
The late German actress was a knockout to say the least, even in the ugly yellow EVERYTHING she wore throughout the entire film. The looks she gives her potential victims when that "I think I'm going to kill that person" light clicks on is beyond sexy not to mention the heavy breathing and moaning she does as she goes in for the kill (seems like she REALLY enjoys being a vampire). Her performance alone gives this film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5. Any actress that plays a vamp needs to study her in this movie as she is the standard when it comes to the act of feeding on camera. Directors on the other hand probably not because otherwise its very cheesy, she does after all transform into a rubber toy bat.
So I'm now officially back from my little blogging hiatus so what better way to start off than a little year in review recap of the vampiress genre. Tons of ups and downs so lets start with the biggest one
The End of the Twilight Saga
OK let me just put it out there. The films for a fantasy story in the same light as "The Princess Bride" or "Lord of the Rings" etc weren't that bad. It was just GAWD AWFUL as far as being a vampire flick. I can't be too hard on it being that it ended on a "baby daddy" custody battle and an attractive female becoming a fairy vampire but none the less I can't say I'm too sorry to see it go. It's not like this will be the last of the complete dismantling of Vampires as creatures to fear but instead figments for women to fantasize about falling in love with. Especially with the on again off again chance of a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reboot as well as the resurrection of Anne Rices "Vampire Chronicles" and a film adaptation of "Vampire Acadamy" looming on the horizon.
The one thing that does make me sad about the series ending would be the chance of Ashley Greene (Alice Cullen) falling into irrelavents which means no more random pics of her wearing fangs for no reason which seemed to come out regularly (below).
Death dealer Selene FINALLY does something Vampiric
It took 5 movies but Selene the sword swinging, gun toting, cross species screwing would be vampire princess assassin finally remembered that she indeed is a vampire in the latest installment of the Underworld saga which came out in 2012. In the scene in which she's escaping from her human captors she bares her fangs and feeds on a truck driver BloodRayne style (video game BloodRayne, not Uwe Boll neutered movie BloodRayne) in order to heal from a gun shot to the head.
This scene is so BloodRayne like that it almost makes up for the 1 decent and 2 horrible BloodRayne movies we've had to endure (not to mention the probably horrible gangster themed BloodRayne film Boll has in pre production now). If only this happened more often. I swear Selene has to have the greatest self control ever in order to shoot and stab people all day and NEVER get hungry.
Tim Burton murders Dark Shadows
I was all for a Dark Shadows remake when I first heard about the project and had a lot of respect for Johnny Depp for coming up with the idea. That all got flushed as soon as Tim Burton's name popped up with the project. Tim Burton did wonders for rebranding the Batman franchise when his big screen version resembled a more dark yet over the top direction than what had been the status quo for the character. Problem is ever since then he's done the SAME THING FOR EVERY MOVIE HE'S DONE. Willie Wonka, the Mad Hatter and Barnabus Collins might as well all been the same character. Then to make matters worse, it is a COMEDY. The one very bright spot in the film was Eva Greens portrayal of Angelique Bouchard which was fantastic. Unfortunately even that becomes part of a cruel joke as they do have Angelique get turned in the film (just as she was in the original series) but we never actually see her as a vampire as our last glimpse of her is her eyes opening after she plunges into the ocean. That's right, an open ending in which Tim Burton has stated he never had any intention of following up on (IE no sequal). Thanks for nothing Tim Burton!
1995 called and they said they'd pay triple for access to this film.
If this movie came out 15 years ago, it's a huge deal. Vamps is a film in the same take as "Clueless" (created by the same director). The story revolves around two single female vampires living it up in New York city. Not only do you get a fanged Alicia Silverstone in this film but you get Sigourney Weaver as well. Having a slutty vampire Krysten Ritter is only a bonus.
I don't know if my babysitter is a vampire because I don't see her that much anymore
The second season of "My Babysitters a Vampire" debuted and to put it lightly, sucked. It reverted to a live action scooby doo type show where the main characters fought strange supernatural beings every week. It eventually got to the point where the character Sara only really came around at the end of episodes as a secret weapon ala the sword Voltron used to use that would kill the evil robeast in one swipe that you always wondered why they never just used in the first place. Needless to say, the show has yet to be renewed for a third season and it's looking more and more like it's not going to happen.
Main Character Vampires Gone Wild
The best part of 2012 by far is that on the top 2 vampire TV shows not only did main human characters get turned into vampires but they let it all out.
First on True Blood Tara Thornton who had gotten shot in the head at the end of season 4 gets turned by Pam and by the end of the season 5 not only is she happy to be a vampire, but she's now a vampire stripper in a lesbian relationship with her maker. I honestly don't think you can get any better than that.
This by the way in the same season that Jessica Hamby is seen in the first episode in a little red riding hood costume straight out of your local stripper costume store!
In the less rated "M" world of Vampires Elena Gilbert of the Vampire Diaries is also turned and struggles for quite a few episodes controlling her blood thirst. It doesn't help that Damon eventually corrupts her into feeding directly from the vein and to enjoy human blood similar to a drug.
There you have it, the biggest vampiric stories of 2012. 2013 should be an interesting year with more lesbian vampirism on True Blood as well as no less than 9 major films set to come out. Hopefully they'll be enough hot female vampires in them to keep me busy for awhile.
According to Bloody-disgusting.com, 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment green lit a straight to DVD sequel to the 2011 Fright Night remake and began production just a few weeks ago. Per the synopsis they gained access to, many of the main characters will be returning for the sequel (more than likely portrayed by different actors as most straight to DVD sequels of big screen films do), mentioned specifically are the characters Evil Ed, Charley Brewster, Amy and Peter Vincent.
In the original Fright Night sequel which was released in 1988, Charlie had moved on to college but was being haunted by his experience saving Amy and his mother from vampire Jerry Dandridge and was seeking therapy. One night while on a date with his new girlfriend he sees a dark and mysterious woman (Julie Carmen) who he begins to become obsessed with. What he doesn't realize is that the woman is Dandridges sister who is there to seek revenge on Charlie and Peter Vincent for killing her brother and that his obsession comes from her manipulating his mind.
Carmen's role as Dandridge was one of the best instances of a female vampire main character since Camella Karnstein in the hammer horror films and it's arguable that there hasn't been anywhere close to a true sexy dominant evil female vampire main character in a film since (Though Angie Everheart in "Bordello of Blood" was a very good attempt)
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Julie Carmen as Regine Dandridge in the original Fright Night 2
Just as the original remake was only loosely based on the original film this new take on the sequel does take some creative license on the story but one thing does thankfully remain the same. The main antagonist is in fact female though instead of being a performance artist named "Regine" it is now a college professor named "Geri". The only downfall from information released is that "Geri" doesn't want to be a vampire and the key to her being released from her curse is Amy's blood (though it does give the potential promise of a hot girl/girl bite scene). What we also know is that "Geri" will be played by Jaime Murray.
Jaime Murray is the newest bloodsucker in the Fright Night franchise
As you can plainly see, the resemblance between the former Dexter star and Julie Carmen is definitely there. There is no doubt that this was probably on purpose. Also the movie is reportedly supposed to take place in Romania which she also would represent very well if Geri is of Romanian decent. Either way I'm looking forward to seeing what she brings to the franchise. Until the movie is released here are some pictures of the lovely miss Murray to admire.
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