Vampiress Review: "Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl"

The Gist:  A High School student is stuck in an unusual love triangle between his girlfriend pieced together from body parts of dead students and the vampire who originally killed her.

Clarification: Poor Mizushima,  The kid had everything going for him until this obsessive new girl arrives at school who just won't leave him alone.  Eventually she gives him chocolate tainted with drops of her blood in it linking the two together and his girlfriend Keiko (Eri Otoguro) ends up on the worst end falling to her death from the roof of the school where she caught the two.  Problem solved right?  Nope,  Keiko is brought back to life using all the best features from students that are kidnapped and murdered as part of an odd science experiment and comes back for revenge. 

Selling Point: If you like over the top stereotypes of western culture (specifically American), you'll think this movie is hilarious.  If you're offended by that sort of thing, this movie will piss your off as a lot of their methods in this film wouldn't get passed censors in English speaking countries.

Female Vampire Factor:
 Yukie Kawamura (Monami)

Yukie is sexy, in this film not so much.  Basically this is a teen flick where most of it takes place in a school.  Monami is most comparable to Eli/Abby aka the vampire girl from the films "Let the Right One In/Let Me In".  While she drinks human blood she also wants companionship.  Her issue being that she's a bit obsessive and once she has her mind set on someone there is very little you can do to prevent her from going after him which is pretty unfortunate for him and anyone he is close too.  This is definitely a movie you can't take too seriously but I can't help but wonder how hot a movie like this would be if they indeed made one for a mature audience. 

 This is one of those films where the fact that one of the main characters is a vampire is almost secondary and the main plot is that two girls are going after the same guy.  Combine that with the over the top comedy and it almost kills the enjoyment factor of what is actually a pretty good plot.  This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "The Moth Diaries"

The Gist: A student at an all girls school becomes jealous of the attention a new girl is getting from her friends and suspects her popularity is because she is a vampire who is using it to suck the life out of the students.

Clarification:  Rebecca (Sarah Bolger) is the tortured daughter of a famous writer who killed himself (and she discovered the body).   Because of that fact anything she says is pretty much ignored throughout the movie because every adult thinks she's having a nervous breakdown except for the one vampire obsessed English teacher who just wants to get into what's under Rebecca's plaid schoolgirl skirt (and gets away with trying due to people already thinking she's crazy thus ignoring her "the handsome English teacher tried to have sex with me" statement that followed her accusations of the new girl being a vampire.)  That unfortunately means she has to sit back and helplessly watch as her best friend Lucie (Sarah Gadon) gets sicker and sicker from what she believes is her hanging out with new girl Ernessa.  To think, if it weren't for Rebecca just happening to learn about the story of Carmilla in class, she wouldn't even know the warning signs of lesbian vampirism (this movie is a modern twist on the novel in which "The Vampire Lovers" was based on). 

Selling Point: basically its a story about schoolgirls in love.

Female Vampire Factor: You've got only one and honestly it's only implied that she is a vampire but could have actually been something else entirely

Lily Cole (Ernesssa)

The British runway model turned actress and Playboy covergirl (The French version) starred as the ultra creepy "Ernessa".  She seemed like any other stereotypical goth girl often isolating herself from others and being very cryptic when she was around people but the longer she was around the more people seemed to want to be around her and not notice the creepiness.  Eventually only Rebecca seemed to notice things like Ernessa standing outside their window nightly and even flying.  Her magic must have been extremely powerful as she was not subtle at all.  Unless of course wherever this takes place rain made of blood happens regularly (below).  

In the end I'm not convinced she was a Vampire at all (thus making this not a real vampire movie).  She didn't have fangs, came out in the daytime and during some points in the film seemed almost like a figment of Rebecca's imagination ala Vampires Kiss.  Frankly the only vampiric thing she did was at the 30 minutes mark of the movie in which Ernessa was either biting Lucie or just having lesbian sex with her or both (right).  In the end this was more of a chick flick in the same token as something you'd see on the Lifetime network or an after school special more than it was a vampire horror flick.  With that I give this film a Vampire Beauty rating of 2 out of 5.

The Vampiress Episode: "Power Rangers Mystic Force"

"The Stranger Within Parts 1 & 2"

Season 1

Episodes 8 & 9

Power Rangers Mystic Force is the 14nth American incarnation of the "Power Rangers" franchise which started with 1993's "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers".  Every encarnation of the series usually revolves around five teenagers being given ninja powers and the control of giant robots so the only thing that sets the shows apart tends to be the background of the powers themselves.  In this case the group also has magic "Harry Potter" like abilities to go along with their ninja abilities. 

Airing in 2006 the series is based on the Japanese series Mahou Sentai Magiranger.  In this two part episode, Vida aka the Pink Ranger is taken to a rave where the hottest new DJ in town is playing. What they don't know is the hot new DJ is really evil monster "Flytrap" in disguise and the music he's playing has the ability to turn anyone who listens into a bloodthirsty vampire.   When Vida returns to "Rootcore" (their base of operation) seeming very different it doesn't take fellow ranger Chip aka the Yellow Ranger (who is also a Jr. Vampire Slayer) long to put two and two together. 

  

Vampiress Cast

Angie Diaz (Vida Rocca)

The Punk Rock loving Pink Ranger comes back from her rave experience looking pretty pale and not able to function too well during the day time.  Chip eventually tests her by offering her tomato juice which she mistakes for blood.  She plays it off to the other Rangers but when she's alone with Chip does fang out to him.  Chip being a Jr. vampire hunter does everything he can to help her out and she appreciates it though throughout the two episodes she does attempt to go after his neck at what seems like every turn she gets (apologizing each time as she just can't help it).

Ayumi Beppu (Houka Ozu)

As stated above this show is based on the Japanese series Mahou Sentai Magiranger.  With that being said let me introduce you to the pink Magiranger from that series, Houka.  It just so happens that in episode eleven of her series titled Night of the Vampires the EXACT same stuff seems to happen to her that happens to Vida.  Small world eh?

So there you have it, two continents (Vida is Australian by the way) two pink rangers and the exact same plot.  In both cases they're cured by the end of the episode but if you're going to have short term vampires on a show like this I'm happy it was the Pink ranger.  On a side note Amy Jo Johnson aka the original pink ranger from the 1993 series plays a vampire as well in the 1999 straight to DVD film Cold Hearts. 

Vampiress XXX Review: James Avalons Vamps

The Gist: 6 vampire related scenes produced by Penthouse and directed by the guy who brought you the Les Vampyres films

Clarification:  Unlike "Les Vampyres" this film consist of just vampire themed sex scenes and is not a full plot driven movie.  Basically it's put together like a collection of short films.

Selling Point: 3 of the 6 scenes revolve around female vampires

Female Vampire Factor: The vampiresses in this film are played by Jenna Haze, Jezzabelle Bond and Naomi Russell.

In Scene 1 Jenna Haze seduces a weary knight into having sex with her in front of a castle on a stormy night before feeding on him.

In Scene 4 titled "Closed on Mondays" Jezzabelle Bond is rummaging through some media in what seems to be a museum when she's confronted by a security guard.  She feeds on him after distracting him with a quick sexual encounter and goes back to what she was doing.

In Scene 6 titled "Open House" what seems to be an unsuspecting man looking to view a house for sale is immediately attacked by a sexy female vampire (Naomi Russell).

If you're a females with fangs fan then I highly suggest skipping this one as the bites are VERY quick and that is the only time you see them.  The emphasis is definitely more on the sex than the vampirism in this film.  For a more vampire friendly version of the same premise check out "The Vampires" which I reviewed HERE. The film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.

Vampiress XXX Review: Muffy the Vampire Layer

(if you're looking for the 1992 adult film of the same name click HERE)

The Gist: A vampire slayer saves a petty crook from the clutches of two sexy lesbian vampires.

Clarification: This is a erotic short lesbian sex porn.  Meant to be more comedic than anything else I mean after all the vampires fangs in the short are drawn in.  Most of the jokes in the film revolve around Muffy's (played by Laurie Wallace) weight (or lack there of) but none the less there is a lot of lesbian sex around the comedy in this film.

Selling Point:  The vamps costumes complete with Dracula cloaks

Female Vampire Factor:  The female vamps are played by Jana Cova and Lana Lotts

Lotts is the head vamp in charge and is really bitchy when she doesn't get her food for the night.  The first sex scene of the film is her forcing Cova to go down on her as punishment for not getting the upper hand on Muffy.  At the end of the day the movie is dumb but none the less it is more than watchable and extremely hot.  Despite the corny drawn on fangs it still gets a Vampire Beauty rating of 5 out of 5.

Full Film

Vampiress XXX review: "The Vampires"

The Gist: 5 Random scenes featuring vampire related sex

Clarification:  The gist pretty much says it all.  This European DVD features 5 unrelated scenes in which the premise is pretty much vampires having sex, no plot, no dialogue just dark moody sex scenes featuring a mostly British cast. 

Selling Point: 3 of the 5 scenes revolve around female vampires

Female Vampire Factor:  The vampiress cast is Lolly Badcock and Diana Doll

In the first scene of the film a vampire (Lolly Badcock) appears in the bedroom of a sleeping woman (Renee Richards) for some girl on girl action.

In Scene 4 a female vampire (Diana Doll) shows a guy the time of his life.

and in Scene 5 the female vamps from the two previous scenes have a lesbian vamp affair when Diana greets Lolly as she wakes from her coffin. 

The fact that there is no actual dialogue doesn't actually take away from the film as that along with the soft lighting gives it more of a romantic feel than your average hardcore porn.  Also the vampires in the scene are your seductive style which is a definite plus for me.   With that being said the film is pretty hot so it gets a Vampire Beauty ratings of 5 out of 5.