Vampiress Review: Two Orphan Vampires

The Gist: Two blind girls who reside in an orphanage become blood thirsty vampires after dark.

Clarification:  If you're familiar with Rollins work then you know that his idea of what a vampire is tends to be different than what legend describes them as.   In this case you've got two vampire girls living in an orphanage which is run by nuns (there goes the whole "fear of the cross" gimmick) who can walk into the sun with the only ill effects being that they just can't see in it.  Also they can be killed like any other person could, they just somehow come back (which is never really explained but since the film is partly first person storytelling from the girls point of view the holes in logic are usually described by film experts as Rollins showcasing the girls lack of memory of the details of their previous lives.

Selling Point: In the DVD extra features the main actresses state they'd never do another nude scene again after this film so I guess that kind of makes it a collectors item.  Plus it's vampire school girls.

Female Vampire Factor:  As you might have guessed via the "clarification" this movie isn't your usual Jean Rollins "Show me boobs and fangs" fest that he pumped out in the 60's and 70's.  In fact this movie is often described as a "fairy tale" with the two orphan girls spending a good portion of it meeting different supernatural creatures and learning about them such as the bat lady (below)

Yes, she does look like a solid gold dancer but she is actually a much more advance version of a vampire who attacks like a hawk would instead of seduction like your run of the mill vampire (ala the brides from the film "Van Helsing" without the expensive CGI).

As far as the girls themselves, via their stories they seem to be quite old as far as years existing but their looks (as well as their maturity level) are that of a teenager and they treat the sun going down the same way a party girl waits for the weekend to go clubbing.  Often their careless acts get them in trouble as they really aren't intelligent vampires and often are seen playing with their victims instead of just attacking.  In one instance in the film this ends up costing them a meal and they end up having to feed on each other just to survive the day

Another sign of their immaturity is they tend to tell anyone who'll listen that they are vampires like Bruce Wayne talking to a blonde.  They have a slight ego so fanging out to prove a point isn't beneath them including having a heart to heart about it with two other girls at the orphanage prior to sucking them dry.

 
Basically this film is about the struggles of being a teenage vampire (every time they got adopted in the past they just ended up killing their foster parents).  There is probably some hidden moral about being an outcast and no matter how alone you are their is someone else that can relate but I will just leave the moral at "Hot teenage vampire girls are really irresponsible". This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5. 

The Sexy Female Vampires of the "Caress of the Vampires" Saga

OK first things first,  I know what you're thinking "You have the first film and the 3rd film but what about part 2?"  So to answer your question No, I am not getting lazy on you (I do in fact watch these movies from beginning to end before posting about them which explains some of the recent delays in postings as motivation is hard to come by with some of the bad ones) and yes,  I have seen Caress of the Vampire 2 (it comes with the DVD of the original film as a "special feature" though it's more like short bus special than "oooh I want to see this" special).  There are three issues with the movie that will prevent it from being mentioned beyond this opening paragraph.  1 the movie is GAWD AWFUL.  2. There are no sexy female vampires in it and 3. It is not an actual sequel or even remotely related to the two above films.    As a matter of fact it is a sequel to another really bad film in 1999's "The Vampire Strangler" aka 90 minutes of a 19 year old Misty Mundae having sex with her boyfriend in front of a camcorder.  Yep, it's a sex tape that they threw in some horrible attempt of a plot into afterword in order to sell it.  What? You don't believe me.... Here's a sample


Well you see how entertaining that was,  well take almost under aged Misty out of the picture and throw in more guys wearing way too much makeup (effeminate not scary) and that is what you get with "Caress of the Vampires 2: Teenage Ghoul Girl a Go Go".  For the record,  despite the box art on Vampire Strangler, it is implied that Misty Mundae does become a vampire in the film but it's never confirmed so if you're hoping to actually find a movie where she's a vamp,  keep looking as this film is actually supposed to be about a MALE vampire who strangles women.  Until you find an actual film with vampire Misty, here is some evil teasing but not delivering publicity stills of Misty Mundae from The Vampire Strangler thanks to the folks at Seduction Cinema.

OK so back to the actual Caress films.  The only thing that ties the plots of the two remaining films together is the fact that the 3rd installment actually states prior to the start of the movie that it takes place following the events of the 1st film.  The first films storyline revolves around an alien vampire couple.  When a new female moves in next door one of the vamps develops feelings for her.  In the 3rd installment which due to the whole "biting off the success of a more mainstream and popular projects" thing that "B" movies do a lot was renamed "Muffy the Vampire Slayer", a woman is picking up prostitutes and draining them of their blood and a female police detective is put on the case.     Anyway, on to the vampires

Caress of the Vampire (1996)

Paulina Monet

Maybe I forgot to mention but most of the actresses in either film have pretty much never been seen in any other seduction pictures and their characters in these films did not have names.  Paulina is the lead vampire in the first Caress film.  Our first indication of this being a vampire flick is her walking down a street late at night, getting attacked by two thugs just to fang out and suck both dry (leaving both the bodies and apparently really really detailed security camera footage that may or may not be just the VHS of the beginning of the film ala Space Balls).  Anyway she's very greedy as she already has a hot girlfriend that she roles around with in the same outfits repeatedly but it doesn't stop her.  If you like vampire cliche's (fanging out and trying to cover it up because the human she's hanging with cuts herself accidentily or drinks while tipping her head back revealing her neck) then you've come to the right film.

Paige Turner aka Jessica English

This is Paulina's domestic partner I guess.  She really doesn't have much of a purpose in the film other than being an occasional naked distraction from the main plot in her two lesbian scenes with Paulina and the one scene in which she gives some random guy a lap dance before biting him.  She does not speak at all in the film so I guess she supports her fellow alien vampiress going after a human lover. 

Darien Price

The object of Paulina's affection as you can see becomes a vampire herself at the films conclusion stalking what I assume is the woman who has moved into the house formally occupied by Paulina and Jessica/Paige after they are run back to space by the local authorities starting a new cycle of vamp lesbianism. This would have been a good place to start a sequel off (then again since no one actually has names in these films we can always assume that the vamp in Caress 3 is Darien's character in a new era (since a time frame is also not given).


Caress of the Vampire 3: Lust of the Nightstalker (1999)

Sabrina Sadoti

OK I've got to admit I developed a bit of a crush on Miss Sadoti while watching this movie as she has one hell of a figure and the fact that the movie opens with nothing more than her posing with a Dracula cape and nothing else didn't hurt either.  There really wasn't much to this movie other than 4 low quality but pretty hot lesbian scenes (5 if you count the opening credits) a terrible attempt at a side story with the female police detective getting in nonsensical arguments with her boyfriend and bosses and any other guy in the film (Female Detective: "Go back to sleep, I've got to go to work", Boyfriend (angrily): "It's the same shit every day"....Me watching: "What? going to work?").  Did I mention the audio as in the first film is horribly dubbed to the level of an old kung fu movie?  Anyway back to Sabrina, She is the only reason to want to watch the movie and is very good at the vampire role so I was surprised to see that she hadn't been in anything else after this.  After some research I found that she was doing "MILF" porn under the name "Nina Dolci" but eventually was incarcerated and for awhile was prominently featured on the "Writeaprisoner.com" website.  Since her profile is no longer there I can assume she is no longer in prison.  

Vampiress Review: The Vampire Happening

The Gist: A Hollywood actress flies to Transylvania after she inherits her families castle just to get caught up in major hi-jinx as she is the spitting image of her great grandmother who is a centuries old vampire.

Clarification: This German film is best described as "The Parent Trap" only with half naked women with fangs as opposed to teenage girls.  The story revolves around the Countess Clarimonde and her using her resemblance to her great granddaughter as a cover in order to roam the night looking for victims without anyone noticing.

Selling Point: This film borders the line on being a softcore porn as it's pretty much guaranteed that if a female is in it, her top won't be on for long.

Female Vampire Factor: Pia Degermark plays a dual role in this film as both Betty Williams (identified by her red painted fingernails and blonde wig)

Pia Degermark as "Betty"

and Countess Clarimonde (identified by Black fingernails, raven haired wig and rose she wears around her neck).

Pia Degermark as "The Countess"

 It's very easy to get confused as to who is who as they switch looks more and more the further in the movie goes.  It gets especially confusing once the two finally meet face to face and you have no clue who is talking.  Part of the issue being that the only personality difference between the two characters is that the Countess has bisexual tendencies and will hit on anything that moves while Betty is just slutty heterosexually.  Either way, they are both very slutty.  Below is a scene where The Countess seduces and takes a bite out of a monk after Betty seduced him during the day and invited him over to the castle.

It's not a bad movie and a great find (and in most cases very cheap if and when you do find it).  There are a few classic movie collections such as 2005's "Vicious Vixens" 3 movie set that includes this film in it.  Plus, when's the last time a vampire film had a giant vampire orgy in it?  This film gets a vampire beauty rating of 4 out of 5.

Viral Vampiress: Michelle Hush the hypnotized vampire

 One thing that goes hand in hand when it comes to vampires is hypnosis.   As long as vampires have been put on film most of them (at least the good ones) have been able to hypnotize their victims in order have an easy meal or as True Blood would call it "glamouring".

Here is something you don't see everyday, humans hypnotizing other humans to be vampires, but that is exactly what the guys at www.entrancement.co.uk do. 

This website specializes in hypnotizing women into doing some odd but mostly sexy and pornographic things (softcore as in nudity and some implied lesbianism).  Despite the large number of female models used for the site only one seems to get the vampiress treatment while under hypnotic suggestion and thats Sheffield England's very curvy Michelle Hush.

 Being that Michelle is a pornstar for a living believing that this is probably not legit wouldn't be far fetched but when you look like this while under legit or not who cares.

They've worked with Michelle twice.  The first time she was along side fellow Brit model ToniLou.  In part 2 of their shoot (preview below) they perform a roleplay where Michelle is a vampire seductress while ToniLou is the potential victim.  

The second time around Michelle is all alone.  Now the vampire seductress is attempting to lure the cameraman to her room to make him her victim (very sexy stuff).  It ends with a nice vampire strip tease.

Each session is over an hour long with a lot more than just the vamp stuff but none the less the vamp stuff is worth the price of admission.  I would like to see them use this role-play a lot more with their models but until then I definitely appreciate Michelle.  

Vampiress Review: "Lips of Blood"

The Gist: After seeing a picture of a familiar castle a guy goes in search of the place.  On his journey he believes to have seen a woman who helped him as a child.  Problem is she seems to not have aged at all. 

Clarification: Being that this is a Jean Rollins film it's best described as a really slow paced softcore porn.  Not all out sex like a Jess Franco film would be but instead just a lot of gratuitous female nudity (but since it's in french you can just tell your girlfriend it's an art film).  There really isn't much to the plot so you can pretty much ignore the subtitles if you don't speak french and have no problem knowing what's going on.  Basically you've got a guy snooping around different parts of a small town getting into trouble for nearly two hours with hot female vampires coming to his rescue every time (after he accidentally releases them from their crypt fumbling around of course).

Selling Point: The hot female vampires wardrobe mostly consist of a see through coverups.

Female Vampire Factor:  This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  Rollins was a perve who had a major thing for female vampires when it came to his films so stuff like plot was completely secondary to getting chicks with fangs on screen as much as possible.  A good 15 minutes of the film is nothing but the above women walking or standing around with fangs (among other things) showing.  

Out of the group the ones with the most screen time where Rollins favorites, twin sisters Catherine and Marie Pierre Castel who get a scene on their own where they save Frederic (the main character) from electro shock therapy at an asylum he was forced in by disguising themselves as nurses and biting the doctor.  Basically the vamps are the protagonists of the film acting as a guardian angel of sorts for Frederic.

The main vamp Jennifer (Annie Briand. left) gets the least fang time in the film which is explained through the surprise twist ending which I won't spoil.    Definitely a movie a fang lover can get into and relate to.

Vampiress Review: Titanic 2000

The Gist: The neglected girlfriend of a rock star becomes the infatuation of a female vampire while on the maiden voyage of a luxury liner. 

Clarification: This is a cheap parody by Seduction Cinema biting (no pun intended) off the success of the 1997 film Titanic. It is EXTREMELY cheezy with any part of the movie that deals with the ship being done in very old looking computer animation and any scene taking place outside being done in front of a green screen. The film once released on DVD was renamed "Scary Sexy Disaster Movie" but renaming it doesn't make it any less cheesy (we're talking low end USA Up all Night bad).

Selling Point: Tammy Parks vampire costume and the body under it.

Female Vampire Factor: This film gets Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  It's bad enough that the movie is painfully stupid but fact is they made it that way on purpose.  It could have been so much more as Tammy is probably top 20 as far as Sexy Vampires go.  It's to the point that for this movie to be enjoyable you pretty much need to just skip any parts that don't have her in it.

Vampiress Cast

Tammy Parks (Vladimina)

B movie hotty Parks is one of the hottest vampires to appear in a movie PERIOD.  Unfortunately the movie she appears in is pretty much unwatchable.  If you can find the old issue of Draculina magazine which has a photo shoot with her from this film it's pretty much all you need. 

Tina Krause (Shari O'Kari)

Krause does little more in this film then play a girl who's ignored by her boyfriend but too dumb to do anything about it.  Fortunately for her the vampiress Vladimina has a thing for her so she has an out with the one problem being that in order for the two to be together Vladimina has to turn her which is easier said then done because any other girl she tries to turn dies (it has to be true love I guess).  Anyway (SPOILER) after the boat sinks the two are floating in the water and Shari finally lets Vladimina put the bite on her (it's not like she'd live otherwise) but this time around it works and for a split second you do see Shari with fangs (though their are quite a few other films in which Krause is the main vampiress if that's what you want to see).

Vampiress Review: An Erotic Vampire in Paris

The Gist: An American girl named Caroline heads to Paris for her mothers funeral but while there she's attacked and raped. She is eventually taken in by a beautiful lesbian named Isabelle who becomes very protective of her. What Caroline doesn't know is Isabelle is vampire and her protection include killing anyone who gets too close.

Clarification:  The good news is that it is the halfway decent looking Seduction Cinema stuff and not the camcorder early Seduction Cinema.  The bad news,  it more or less comes off as a 79 minute vacation home movie of Mundae and Copia visiting Paris landmarks.

Selling Point: Tina Krause playing a non comedic vampire which is a rarity.

Female Vampire Factor: This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  As stated above you spend a good majority of the movie looking at footage of the two stars of the film seeing sights.  Though if Copia was on screen without Mundae it's safe to say she was going to bite someone.

Female Vampire Cast

Tina Krause/Mia Copia (Caroline)

The star of the "Dracoola" series this film is a change of pace if you're used to seeing her from those films.  For the first time as a vamp she is in a serious role but as you're trading in the fake Transylvanian accent she used in those movies you're also seeing her with a lot more clothes on than you would in those films as well (not that she isn't completely naked in any plot forwarding portion of the film which she is).  Cheezy or not I'm a fan.