Female vampires once ruled the world. Now they are overlooked for glittering guys with big hair. It's time to point out why the female of the species should be the center of attention.
Blood ties is a Canadian crime drama which aired on the Lifetime network in 2007. The story followed a former police officer named Vicki Nelson. Vicki left the police force as her eyesight began to fail her due to a medical condition. Instead of just quitting altogether she decided to become a private investigator. During a case in which people were being found dead with their blood drained she meets and befriends a vampire named Henry Fitzroy who helps her solve the case (it ended up being a demon and not a vampire). From then on they worked together to solve cases (most of which were supernatural in nature) while fighting their own feelings for each other.
In this episode models are being found dead via being completely drained of their blood with various clues pointing to the vampire culprit being a woman named Christina who is connected to the women as the photographer assigned to work with them. Christina also happens to be the woman who turned Henry into a vampire in the first place. Eventually we find out that Christina turned a young male model from Montreal into a vampire and he resented her for it resulting in him trying to ruin Christina's life.
Vampiress Cast
Laura Mennell (Christina)
Though Christina was a victim in this episode, outside of the whole stalker issue she was not innocent at all. Stories are told of her once attempting to kill Henry in the past are mentioned in this episode and she is VERY threatened by Henry's feelings for Vicki which she had no problem going to Vicki and letting her know at all. Her and True Bloods Lorena could have a lot to relate to each other about (had Lorena not been killed of course).
From Dusk Till Dawn is a 1996 film directed and starring Quinten Tarrantino. The film follows two fugitive brothers who kidnap and hold hostage a family at gunpoint. The whole group end up having to stop for refuge at a strip bar called the "Titty Twister" somewhere along the US/Mexican border. After a shootout in the bar leaves Richard (Tarantino) bloody, most of the bar reveals themselves to be vampires. This results is a melee in which friendly or not every human in the bar has to work together in order to get out alive.
After the success of the first movie, two straight to video releases followed. 1999's "From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money" which told the story of a group of bank robbers who on their way to a big heist in Mexico get turned into vampires when one of them has a run in at the Titty Twister resulting in his being turned while trying to escape the clubs bartender and main troublemaker. The robbers one by one end up turning each other and the police along with the guy who orchestrated the robbery have to work together in order to stop them. This movie was NOT female friendly as far as vampires go and even if it was, they were not attractive in anyway as you can see by the below example of 1 of the 2 that are in the movie.
Tania Kline vamping out in From Dusk Till Dawn 2
and finally 1999's "From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter". This was a prequel to the first film telling the story of "Esmeralda" the young Mexican village girl that would eventually go on to become "Santanico Pandimoniam" who was the snake carrying vampire/stripper in the first film. This was the most female vamp friendly movie of the series with many of the female vampires being main characters unlike the first film in which they were just extra's in the films end fight scenes. For my review of the television series based on the original story CLICK HERE.
Vampiress Cast
From Dusk Till Dawn
Salma Hayak (Santanico Pandimoniam)
The MVP of the franchise as the only scene many even remember from this movie is her coming out in the red two piece doing her snake dance. For whatever reason when she turned she resembled a snake as well, something that was never explained even though the 3rd film revolved around her characters story thus plenty of opportunity to do so.
Tia Texada
Though there are countless vampire strippers in this movie only one of the nameless beauties gets to show her stuff looking "Normal"and this is her.
Texas Blood Money
Maria Checa (Lupe)
As I stated above this movie was not very female vamp friendly. There was only two and nothing says non female vampire friendly than taking a playboy playmate and turning her into a disgusting demon creature. In the film Lupe was having sex with one of the robbers named Jesus. After the deed was done she goes to take a shower and is attacked by a mutant bat and killed. The bat turned out to be "Luther" who was the first robber turned. In Jesus's attempt to escape Luther he runs into the now deformed Lupe trying to bite his neck.
Hangman's Daughter
Ara Celi (Esmeralda/Santanico)
Esmeralda was nothing more than a poor young girl in Mexico when we first see her in Hangman's Daughter. Her father whipped her if she did anything close to wrong. Eventually she got fed up helps a criminal escape the noose and runs away with him. This leads them all to eventually go to the what eventually becomes the Titty Twister where the head mistress of what at the time is a bordello seems VERY interested in her. What we eventually find out is that the vampire head mistress is her mother (who she believed died during child birth) and Esmeralda was prophisised to be the queen of the vampires one day.
Sonia Braga (Quixtla)
Old school hotty coming up. Former Brazilian playboy playmate Braga played the mother of Santanico. Even in her advanced age she is SUPER sexy in this film seducing her next meal as the group of stage coach travelers ended up at the bar. She is easily one of the best "Cougarpires" in film history.
Rebecca Gayheart (Mary Newlie)
The Newlies were a Newlywed christian couple on their way to doing some religious work in Mexico when they ended up at the bar. What eventually came out is that Mr. Newlie was not at all religious and only put up a front so that he could get some from Mary (which even after married still didn't happen). Eventually he gets tired of waiting and has a good time with Quixtla, gets dunk and starts a bar fight which starts the vampire blood bath that always happens during these movies. Poor Mary becomes a bi standard of the fight and is turned. She starts out pretty hot as a vampire but as her lone vamp scene goes on her progression gets worse and worse. Still doable though, I mean this is still the 90's Noxema girl after all.
(I'd like to thank the commenter who brought this one up on my comments section)
Young Hercules was a television show which aired on the Fox Network for one season in 1998/99. It was a part of the networks "Fox Kids" block of programming. It was a spinoff of the popular shows Hercules and Xena that were already airing in syndication at the time. The show revolves around the teen years of Hercules (Ryan Gosling) and his time at an academy for warriors.
In this Episode which is a prequel type spinoff to the "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" episode of Xena: Warrior Princess, Hercules is talked by his friend Orpheas into meeting Bacchus, the god of "Good Times". He at first wants nothing to do with it but Orpheas changes Hercs mind when he mentions that Bacchus is a "son of Zeus" (thus making them related). Once Hercules gets there Bacchus does his best to bring Hercules into the fold including using Orpheas to hypnotize him with his Lyre and using a girl named Eurydice to seduce him.
Morgan Reese Fairhead as Eurydice
Initially Herc leaves but he eventually comes back with his friends Iolaus and Lilith with him. As they party the other guests seem to sprout fangs and one of them bites Lilith. From there it's up to Hercules to find out how to cure her before she becomes a full Bacchae. Lucky for him Eurydice (who turns out to be a Bacchae herself) for whatever reason decides to help them.
Clarification: Seemingly wherever this movie takes place there is an epidemic of vampirism with very few survivors. The remaining survivors are hold up in seemingly the largest hospital in existence (by the size it's probably a mental institution but it's never clarified). Outside of surviving, their goal is to get out of the hospital before the backup generator goes out leaving them in darkness with a bunch of cannibalistic vampires. Luckily, the military sends a group of hunters to search for survivors in the area lead by "Tao" (Steven Segal). What both groups don't realize is at dawn the military is leveling the entire area.
Female Vampire Factor: This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5. There's a bunch of them that are sword fodder for Segal but they are the "zombie" kind (they look exactly the same as your average zombie flick). There are only two exceptions.
Andreea Ungureanu as Sophie
YoungSophie(Andreea Ungureanu) who is the infected daughter of a psychotic surgeon who one of the survivors runs into in the hospital. It's revealed by the nut job (nut job in that he knocks the survivor out and tries to perform surgery on him while using his daughter as a blood suction machine) that Sophie unlike the rest of the infected is capable of normal thought and looks no different than a normal person other than the fangs (which none of the other vampires have).
And Amelia (Emma Catherwood) who is one of the main survivors in the film. She wasn't too bright though and tried to go to the aid of a young boy she saw at the end of a hallway. Apparently this kid was like Sophie as when she got too close and went to touch his cheek (smart) he bit her. It doesn't take long for her to turn (something like two scenes go by) and here she is.
Emma Catherwood as Emma
Notice nothing really changes about her other than she looks like she needs a good nights sleep. She channels her inner Scooby Doo villain and instead of attacking she stops her former survivor mates to talk about their chances of survival and how the infected are evolving (I guess they have a collective brain). A bullet to the head cured her chattiness though.
The Gist: Two REALLY awful B movie comedies about lesbians
Clarification: In 1998's Vampire's Seduction a lesbian vampire named Dracoola needs human lesbians to quench her thirst. In order to get them she enlists the help of the really awkward and dorky Wally Van Helsing. Eventually the ghost of Wally's vampire hunting relative talks him into not working for Dracoola but destroying her.
In the 2003 sequel Vampire Vixens Dracoola is resurrected by another awkward and dorky guy, this time named Eugene Renfield. Now that she's alive again she enlists Eugene to avenge her by killing Wally who became a suave business professional after killing Dracoola.
Selling Point: Dracoola's Lina Romay inspired costume in Seduction and Misty Mundae's "self love" scene in Vixens.
Female Vampire Factor: These films together get a 2 out of 5. Seduction comes off as a practice run as it is one of Seduction Cinema's very early films and the problem with their early films is they come off pretty cheap looking (camcorder at someone's house or back yard cheap). The positive is the amount of shots of Krause in her nude in everything but panties a cape and some boots costume. Vixens looks much better but Dracoola (much like a consistent plot) is barely involved and the movie would be just the same if her or anything revolving around her goal of killing Wally wasn't even in it. In reality those scenes are just filler between lesbian scenes with a lesbian job interview storyline getting much more screen time.
Vampiress Cast
Tina Krause (Dracoola)
Despite the cover of Vixens which has a fanged Misty Mundae, Dracoola is the ONLY vampire in either movie. She is a lazy one at that, constantly sending someone else to do her dirty work while she stays in one spots and waits (the woods in Seduction, Eugenes basement in Vixens). Dracoola is defined by her accent of unknown origin her lack of clothes and in Vixens the ability to fly like superman. She's not really that bright though as her demise in both films comes at the hands of eating sandwiches that Wally makes which contain things fatal to vampires.
The Gist: A Romanian count comes to England in order to seduce a woman who looks like his long dead lover.
Clarification: The story of Dracula has been around for quite awhile so going over it would be redundant (especially considering how many "Dracula" films I will have gone through when all is said and done). This particular version directed by Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather Trilogy) is probably one of the highest budgeted and successful of all time winning a few Academy Awards. It is definitely the most accurate to the novel.
Selling Point: Random lesbian acts from Lucy and Mina
Female Vampire Factor: This Film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5. As mentioned above this is far and beyond the sexiest "Dracula" film ever made and that includes the XXX adaptations. It comes across very artsy so it isn't raunchy whatsoever like a Cinemax after dark film would be despite having just as much nudity.
Vampiress Cast
The Brides
Florina Kendrick, Monica Bellucci & Michaela Bercu as the brides
I love a movie in which the Brides are more than just "vampire chicks on the side". In this case they are Dracula's secret weapon. While Dracula goes to England to claim Jonathon Harkers fiance Mina, these three beauties are left (unsuccessfully) to make sure Jonathon doesn't get in the way. It had to be rough to constantly be humped and drained by 3 beautiful naked women. Mina must have truly been something special.
Sadie Frost (Lucy Westenra)
Lucy was Mina's best friend and unfortunately for her the first victim of Dracula. Not only was she the first victim but she didn't even get the "normal" incarnation, she got raped by an animal version. Prior to dying she tries to take a bite out of her fiance Aurthur (complete with exposed breast) and post death she looks ghostly in a pretty ugly looking death dress where the vampire hunting crew lead by Dr. Van Helsing prevent her from making a snack out of a young child.
Winona Ryder (Mina Murray)
I've had high hopes for her to play a vampire since first seeing her as the depressed goth girl in Beetlejuice and the only downfall in this movie is that it only happens for a fleeting moment. Despite that the scene where it does happen is fantastic as she seduces Dr. Van Helsing by bringing out her cleavage and letting him go to town. Even better, the whole incident is being brought on by the Brides who have a psychic link to her through Mina's ingestion of Dracula's blood. 4 sexy fanged women all in one scene!
